is he into me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
is he into me?
9
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 5:33pm
First off, there is a 12yr age difference. I am 37 and he is 25. I dont think age really matters, however, I do understand his age may show in certain respects. The times we have gotten together, it's great. He's very complimentative, always commenting that I'm fun, that he's having a great time. And then he wont call for days on end. I just dont get it. He's into me when we're together, but then he can go a week or two without calling or getting together with me. To me, that's mixed signals. What do you think? I am trying not to call him at all, and let him do it. Does that really work? A friend of mine says you cant call so that he'll miss me enough to call me. That's playing games, but if it'll work, I'll do it
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 6:29pm

Sounds to me like he's "into you" enough for a very casual relationship and that's it. Is that what you're looking for?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 9:40am
I would like it to develop into something more meaningful and solid. But you cant say anything like that or you scare them away. I suppose he's interested, because when a week goes by without talking or seeing each other, he'll say things like "it's been over a week, when can I see you?", etc. Hopefully over time, he'll want to get together more. I know I'm interested in getting to know him better; I know what I want, and he's probably still at the stage where what he's doing is more important than who he's met. I suppose after a few months, I will have to make a decision if it hasnt progessed by then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 10:21am
....."I suppose he's interested, because when a week goes by without talking or seeing each other, he'll say things like "it's been over a week, when can I see you?", etc.".....

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 11:30am

That's not true, actually.

A man who is right for you is not going to be "scared away" because you express what you're looking for in a relationship, so long as you do it in general terms. I bet if you asked him though, he'd say something like, "oh I'm not really looking for a relationship right now".

As I said in my previous post, I think he IS interested, just not in anything more than a casual relationship.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 5:27pm
No, we're not having sex at all. All we've done is kissing, and no more. It's not something I will rush into. I have to be in an exclusive relationship to get intimate with someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 10:03pm

I think Sheri's right. This doesn't sound like someone who is looking to get into anything serious with you. He keeps his distance and doesn't call for days on end so you won't get the idea that there's any commitment. When you're together, you're having fun.. and he's hoping that's enough for you. And I hate to say it, but the age difference could be a factor for him.

If you want someone who wants the kind of relationship you do, you should probably move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 8:40am
Thanks everyone for all your input. It helps to hear objective opinions. I'll continue to see him, but knowing it's not going to develop; just enjoy going out. And if someone else comes along wanting something more serious, well, see ya John.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 10:51am

Hi


You don't say how long the two of you have known each other. Have you spoken about the possibility of this becoming something more than casually getting together every once in a while? I'd say dont make a big issue of things right now (I get the impresision you haven't known each other that long?) but know that he may not be into developing a relationship right now. So when you are together I would have a casual conversation about aims, goals, etc.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 11:15am
It's been a month, and we never have spoken of goals and such. He will always talk about the next time we get together. And I have never made an issue of it either, by talking about it. I'm kind of resigned to the fact that this is a casual relationship, and I'll just have fun when I see him. I believe, the way he is approaching this with me is where his age is showing. So, I cant see it lasting long or being something meaningful, which is a shame, because we get along so great, and he has mostly of what I would like in a man.