IS HE INTO ME???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2006
IS HE INTO ME???
2
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 9:41pm
I've started seeing this guy for the past four months or so. We havent had much physical contact, we havent kissed or anything but everytime we go out, people seem to think we're a couple. I really like him but he just got out of a nasty breakup six months ago and he's still very hurt I know he needs time on his own but I'm confused as to whether he sees me as a friend or as someone who will eventually become more than just friends. He goes out and dates other girls but tells me about all his dates & how he wasn't into any of them. He gives alot of mixed signals & I've already made it very clear I'm into him & everytime I do that, he backs off and calls me less. Is he just scared at this point? What should I do? I don't want to get emotionaly attached to him if all he'll ever see me as is a friend.
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: debb2006
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 11:36pm
I hate to say this, but I think he sees you as a friend. He's already dating, so he feels "ready" to date. And he's telling you about these dates, so he sees you as a friend he could talk to. He talks to you as he would a guy friend. The biggest thing is he gets distant when you express your feelings to him. He is your friend, he doesn't want to hurt you and he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Once a guy is in "friendship mode" with a female friend, it is very difficult for him to become bf and gf.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
In reply to: debb2006
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 12:27am

Sorry to hear about this. He does not sound "into you" yet. There are a few options you have in this scenario...

Mention it to him and give this more time, without pressuring him in any manner. Lower your expectations. Just spend time with him as you are doing now. Be there for him. Sometimes, with patience and care, things fall in place. Keep the friendship going.

Ask him straight out what he thinks about both of you? What does he say? He should certainly keep things on the table, even if he does not have a black and white answer. You do deserve to know. Has he encouraged you to date also? Has he ever mentioned it? Clearly, in his view, you both are still not exclusive. How does he feel about your dating other men?

Find more people to date. He is clearly undecided and is dating other women. Why cant you. You could/should too. But before you do that, let him know once again, that you would have liked it if you both could date seriously, but then you understand he is not ready. Keep your conversation going with him....so it prevents any misunderstandings.

Goodluck to you!