He is that into me !

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2004
He is that into me !
9
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 3:20pm
I met this man online through a dating service.I initiated the first e-mail of

interest and he took over from that point.He has responded over and over with many positive messages.He gave his phone no. 3 times in the 1st month of e-mailing, just to

give me security about it being ok to contact him at his home.He is a single man and

he lives alone.He is aprofessional person.And he teaches bible study in his church.

He communicates to me in all honesty about the type of relationship he wants out of a

mate.I am turning 50 in acouple of weeks.I have bought a ticket to fly to san diego,

where he lives,he invited me to come down.I'll be there and staying at his home for 4 days to get to know this person,whom I fill totally comfortable with through all phone calls we've had.I want to know is this friendship going further or what? Am I doing what's right about meeting him in his residing city? What have I not done or need to do?I do care alot for him.Should I have sex if I feel so connected?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 3:37pm
I would urge you not to stay at his home.

Its great that you feel safe but you really don't know this man. Please stay in a hotel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 6:11pm
Totally agree with the last response. Stay at a hotel. Safety, safety, safety! It is better to err on the side of caution. I am sure there are some people who have been hacked to bits between bible studies. Not saying this guy is an axe murderer, but wouldn't you rather not find out the hard way? Besides, I agree with dear abby that house guests and fish start to stink after 2 days. AND if this is the first meeting do you want him to see you all McFunky in the mornings without your coffee or make up? It's too soon in the relationship to give up all of your mystery. Stay in a fabulous hotel. The extra pampering will only add to your enjoyment of the trip. Try priceline if the added expense is an issue. PLus a good hotel will have a good restaurant and/or cocktail lounge where you can meet so that you are safe and relaxed -- plus have food, drinks and scenery to talk about should that uncomfortable first meeting be just that. I would also say keep ya pants on girl. If he's as pure of heart as you imply then he's not going to want to hop in the sack that quick. Spend this time getting to know him, not his anatomy. If it goes nowhere and this is your only meeting than at least you know you're not another notch on his bible belt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 6:33pm
I wouldn't recommend staying in his home. Think if "this don't work out"...where would you in the middle of the night in a city you don't know? Since this will be your first visit, stay in a hotel and meet with him in a public place. Be aware of what it means to go to a stranger's home. Yes, he's a stranger, as you really don't know this person. He's told you "love words" through e-maisl and phone calls BUT is this really him? As for having sex with him just think in what you want. If you feel comfy with him there and then go ahead. Enjoy the visit and stay safe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 8:02am
bump
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 2:28pm
I have been online dating for a couple of years. If I had a dime for every online person that was into me...I would be a wealthy woman. The thing is....there is a HUGE difference between meeting online and in real life. If he truly were that into you...He would come to you and stay at a hotel.

I have met all sorts...from Bible school teachers, pastors. You must keep in mind....men will do what it takes to get you into bed.

The fact that he wants you to stay at his house worries me. He should at the very least pay for you to stay in a Hotel. Staying at house....no matter how safe and comfortable you feel with this guy....is simply not very smart. Not on the the first meeting.

You can never be too safe.

Good Luck

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 3:20pm
Stay in a hotel!

You don't know this guy - you've talked on the phone, made huge assumptions about his character and intentions and are now going to put yourself at risk by being entrusted to him wihtout transportation or another accommodation!

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 5:06pm
If he was "that into you", he'd have come to visit YOU, and he'd have sprung for his own hotel room!

Have you had him investigated, is that how you know the things he's telling you are true?

It would be beyond foolish of you to stay with this STRANGER. I don't care how much you've talked on the phone or how "connected" you feel. At a minimum, stay in a hotel and make your first meeting a short one in a public place. And be sure to give a friend or family member all of his contact information.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 11:33am
Well let me say that I am happy for you that you met a man that you feel confertble with but you need to look at the whole picture. Stand back for a min. and think about this... How long have you been talking to him? What do you want and where do you want to be in realtionship? Since you are flying I am guessing that this is a long distance friend. If this man is a church going man then sex won't be an issue. I feel that you should go with your intuition, that is Gods way of letting us women know when somthing is not right. I believe that you should take things slow and make sure you get know him better as a person and not a internet friend. Be realist about the situation and don't let your dreams get in the way of reality. We as women tent to do that and then when we get hurt we ask ourself why, when all the signs where there. So good luck I hope that God leads you in the right direction.

Mimayee
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 12:21pm
i agree w/ the other posts about not staying at his place. but i agree most w/ this one. if he was THAT INTO YOU he would mention that he wanted to see you and make the trip to visit you. you are entering his territory when going to cali. your 49 (im assuming since you said you'll be 50 soon) and, well, you should be able to make sound decisions. but dont stay at his house. if everything goes well, then he'll want to see you again, and hopefully come to you, then i'd say sex would be a go. but def not this time...remember where you'll be. he has all control