Is he into me for the long haul?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Is he into me for the long haul?
2
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 7:09pm
so my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. He has a very demanding job where he will work many long hours but it's paying off because he will be making and directig movies and I've been very patient with him...pretty soon he'll be making big movies and makign a lot of money....Sometimes I feel as if I am not good enough for him and he is just with me now until he makes it big and that he will fall in love with some beautiful actress and dump me when he makes it big. Needless to say it makes me insecure and well I am starting to question things a lot. He tries and spends as much time with me as possible when he's not working to the point where he barely hangs out with his friends,calls me everyday,writes cute things on myspace for me, makes datenight for me . He treats me well and I feel I can tell him anything and at certain points I feel as if this relationship is so calm and healthy it makes me uneasy ....he hasn't said I love you to me yet but the other night I was like....honey our relationship is so calm ...we're so nice to each other ..I need some fireworks because it's been said a relationship without any pain is not a relationship worth having......and he said that I had that in myu last relationships and that they didn't work out so maybe it's good we have calm ....then I asked him what he thinks of us and he says "he doesn't know if it will work out or not but he wants it to work out"..does that mean that he's not too into it and that he's just being nice to me and will eventually break up with me? I would think by 6 months we should be falling in love with each other and say it and feel as if we can't be apart. I need passion in my life and i have a steady calm and healthy relationship ...Am I expecting too much too soon or is this feeling that this calmness indicates he's just not that into me valid? I was expecting him to say honey this is going to work out I'm in this for the future and we're going to do our best...not I dont' know if it will work out or not but I want it to....it was so like rational and so not passionate or romantic. What do you guys think? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:38am

Hey, I think he is being honest with you. It is nice to see from the outside, but hard when you are on the inside. It sounds like he is interested in finding out where the relationship will go, otherwise he wouldn't be spending what little free time he has with you.

They say that sparks are great, but that honeymoon phase doesn't last (I have experienced that a few times). You don't seem to have complaints about how he is treating you. I say take the ride, see where it takes you. If you push too hard and he isn't ready, you may just push him to resentment, he may miss his friends. His career is obviously important to him. Offer him some support and encouragement. Don't waffle in what ifs so soon in the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 2:18pm

I agree.

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