He is moving... stop seeing him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
He is moving... stop seeing him?
1
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:46am
Last November I started dating a guy who was recently separately (6mths) and badly burned from a breakup with his wife of 13years (she cheated, etc). We dated and I fell in love over the next 3 mths. It’s difficult to convey how intense our relationship was in a sentence or paragraph ~ suffice to say we were incredibly close. Then out of the clear blue sky, he broke up with me using the classic: ‘I’m not over my wife yet’ line. Which I completely believed and was totally understanding of. He gave me hope that we would go out again in the coming months after he had time to grieve. Six weeks later I learned that he started dating someone he barely knew (right away on the phone with her) from 2000 miles away (met her once thru friends). The two of them went on a week long beach vacation – when they barely knew eachother. I found out by accidentally seeing online photos of the trip. What a painful shocker!

Anyway I was livid and wrote him off as a major jerk and crazy.

In the coming weeks, we talked – I called it ‘him sniffing around’ – which I let him do. He said he thought if we got involved again he would ‘evaporate with feelings for me’ and ‘wasn’t ready for me’. He told me about the other woman and that he started dating her because he wanted to move to her town in the coming months (he has family and friends there)… but that he and she stopped seeing eachother shortly after their trip. The bottom line is – I was weak – and we are back at it… and it feels intense again. He tells me he loves me – and ‘is not ready for me’ and that ‘I scare him’ – ‘he loves to breath my air’, etc etc -- but he is still moving that town – 2000 miles away at the end of the Summer. I feel like I need to stop seeing him but I just love being with him too much to give it up. He is telling me that he may very well move back here – this is home – but that he can’t reset without trying out this town he has wanted to live in for 4 years. I wish I could be objective – I just can’t be with myself – these feelings get in the way. Yuck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:18pm
If he's not moving for several monthes I think it's to your advantage to stop seeing him now. He's said what he's going to do and has already been seeing someone else. You deserve better.