He needs some verbal skills....
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| Tue, 03-23-2004 - 12:06pm |
I have been dating my boyfriend for five months and ever since the first date i noticed communication problems, but i figured they could be resolved. He is REALLY quiet. Most of the time it seems like he wants to say something..but then doesnt. I find myself feeling awkward in the car with him..and sitting in restaurants, because I really struggle to make conversation. I say things and he just nods or smiles. He doesnt compliment me. Ive never heard him say please or thank you or even sorry. He very rarely starts conversations.
I addressed the issue and he agrees to his problem but just has pretty much given up on changing himself. Instead he finds instant messenger a means of telling me things. For instance, I spent a night at his place and the following day he IMs me to tell me that his grandfather may have cancer and he also may need to move to Virginia. Upon asking why he hadnt told me these things to my face, he responds that he is wasnt comfortable and was thinging too much about our problems..i didnt know we really had so many problems. He tells me that hes terrified of losing me and thinks that i dont kind him sincere, trustworthy or even significant. Bear in mind that this is my first REAL, LOVING, relationship and he has had lots more experience than myself and is 5 years older (im 22).
He feels that i can work on trying to help us communicate better, but im really clueless on what to do cause i feel myself having trouble talking to him also. Help!! Do you have any suggestions to help us both open up to each other?

He's told me that he often feels scared of telling me things because of the way i may react. Both of us are quite sensitive in terms of our emotions, so this may be the barrier we need to conquer. I just need some suggestions..perhaps some exercises to make us open up..or something else i can do.