Is he nervous or odd?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Is he nervous or odd?
6
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 5:19pm
OK. I met a guy through an online service and we have progressed to IM'ing. I've kept it here for a week without meeting him (although he asked me to a baseball game - but last minute) b/c I can't figure out if he is just nervous, trying to be funny or if he is pretty much a freak.

Here's the things he does:

He is very goofy and at times almost "manic" (for lack of a better word) in his IMs. He'll talk about silly things and just IM, then IM, then IM - phrase after phrase. And we are talking silly things such as how he drank 13 Mountain Dews and is now going to eat a box of Power Bars or ramble on about lunch and all you can eat buffets or tell me b/c I got in last I need to buy donuts. Of course in IM, inflection, tone and context are all gone so I guess I just am unsure if he is JUST trying to be funny or if he is kinda odd.

He has some bizarre emoticons - one that was a fish that said something like "hey sexy" and another that was a stripper looking woman that says "I like it when you type really slow". I am just totally squicked out by these.

He is a bit too familiar for my tastes for someone I have never met. He'll always call me some cutesy nickname (he's called me "hot rod" and the more inappropriate "baby" and "sexy".

How do I handle this? Or do I? Did I make a mistake giving him my IM or am I just being too picky and judgemental? I realize too that this all comes out of context and you are only hearing the bad, but I honestly cannot think of a normal conversation that we've had!! It all is silly and immature and while I am not against fun, this is just a little too much for me I think. Any suggestions?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 5:45pm
Well, I think you should follow your gut and quit talking to this guy. If he's creeping you out, he's probably a creep. You don't owe this guy anything, so don't feel bad. Just tell him that you are no longer interested in talking with him and block him from your IM list. That's it. You don't need to give him an explanation and you certainly don't need to keep talking to him.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 6:01pm
I'd probably pass on this guy, because he's being too familiar for someone you've never met. I'd take him off your friends list and move on.

I generally don't IM with guys before meeting them, FWIW...I've found it's best to stick to exchanging a couple emails, have one or maybe two brief phone conversations then meet for coffee to see if you hit it off in person.

Sheri

P.S. If you have Yahoo Messenger, you have those emoticons also (they are called "audibles")...the guy I'm seeing and I use the fish one all the time ;-).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 11:53pm
Thanks Sheri. You've given me several pieces of advice on this online dating thing. I don't think I am very good at it! But I am not sure I want to be. And thanks for letting me know about the Audibles! I just upgraded to the new Yahoo! Messenger and didn't know about those yet. But yeah, the fish and the girl were just a little too wierd for me. The fish would be great when you've been going out a while, but I've never met this guy. Ick. Good luck with your relationship and thanks again for the words of wisdom!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 8:04am
Think of it this way...if you are having serious hesitation due to his immaturity NOW, just imagine what meeting him would be like....I think I would pass.

Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 12:22pm
I agree. I think that is what is really getting to me is the immaturity! I hadn't really put my finger directly on it, but that nails it. I feel like I am talking to a 10 year old.

One other quick question for all of you tho. I HATE it when a guy just drops off the face of the earth and just stops communicating with me. I would just like a quick word of explanation. I know guys operate differently, but I feel to be fair, I should just send a quick double-blind email through the site saying "You seem like a fun guy (not nice, not great - I won't lie), but I don't think we are on the same page. Good luck in your search." Then close him, block him from IM and move on. It really is just b/c I want that same courtesy extended to me when they drop off - do you think that is OK?

Good luck with your baby Wendie!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 6:48pm
You're under no obligation to meet him - and i think you have good reason not to want to.

Just say that you're busy and can't IM much right now but you'll contact him if things ease up. Hopefully he'll get the message.

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