Is he over her? please help!
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Is he over her? please help!
| Sat, 10-15-2005 - 6:29pm |
I am so lost. I have been seeing this guy for about a month or so and he just got out of a long relationship about a month before we met. He was with a girl for five years and she cheated, lied, and stole money and all his clothes. She write about him constantly saying how can he be over her and things like that. He still feels the need to let her get to him and respond to her taking stabs at him. Why does he let it get to him? Why does he still need to check her website? who cares what she says? He says he wasn't looking for anyone but he can't pass up a good thing with me. He was very hurt and has little trust but he knows this is a problem for me. Well she went to jail and called him and left him a message. He told me about it and said he wasn't going to help her but then gave $300 to her friend to help get her out.He told me that same evening and He refused to see her and says he would help anyone that was ever important to him. I know they don't talk on the phone and he hasn't responded in a long time to her but he won't stop checking up on her. He was very attached to her daughter and practically raised her alone and she wasn't his kid. He says his intentions were good and he should've told me first but he won't cut all ties to her. How do i tell him that he'll never get over her if he can't walk away? he has no contact with her daughter anymore. Is he over her and really ready for me? Can this work?

He has to come to the decision to put her out of his life on his own - i.e.: not feel the need to check the website. You can't make him see what you see. But he definitely doesn't sound ready for a new relationship - he's barely out of the old one!! You don't want to be his rebound person
You 've just been seeing him a month. I recommend you end things before you become further enmeshed. You can say when (if) he does become truly ready to move on he can contact you. But at that point you might be with someone new yourself.
Girl,
I feel for you. I am in the EXACT same situation except the guy just happens to be my first love. We came into contact with each other after 15 years. It is a very tempting situation but I just can't be with someone who's heart has been taken by someone else. He needs to move on emotionally before I would even dip my toe into those waters!