Is he a player: Part III
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| Sun, 02-12-2006 - 6:23pm |
Hi everyone,
I wrote last week about the guy who I had been on one date with and although I really liked him and we seemed very compatible, there were certain things that makes me think he is really just playing with me.
We had a second date on Friday and once I got to his place, he seemed like he just wanted to stay at his apartment and make out. Well we ended up going out, his phone rang at 9:30 and he said "Oh it's just a friend, I will call back later" and didn't pick up the phone...then later on as I told him that I am still friendly with my ex (who by the way lives in the UK, while I live here in NY) he said that he is too, and that the person who called was actually his ex-girlfriend. I thought nothing of it really.
The night out went fine although he seemed more interested in getting back to his place than learning more about me. Later on I asked him how often he hangs out with his ex, and after a few moments he said "not that often, last time was back in July". I thought it was a little strange that she would call him on a Friday night if the last time they hung out was back in July. Also, on our first date, I remember he talked about her quite a bit and also he told me that when he went on a vacation, she had called him to tell him that she was also going away the following day and how pissed off he had been etc...I am not sure what the point of telling me that was.
We met online and I pulled my profile offline a few weeks back (purely because I got tired of replying to people and also because I felt I had a few cool guys I have met and would like to hang out with), this was our second date and he is already wanting to sleep with me (actually showed frustration that we havent had sex), yet he has not taken his profile off, in fact he checks it constantly, several times a day. I told him on Friday that I do not sleep with anyone I am not exclusive with. His facial expression seemed a little bit strange and he also said "but what's the problem if you use protection, no point in using protection then other than pills if you are exlusive"...yet he still more than willing to have sex with me once we got back to his apartment.
Also, when we are both online, he usually does not say much to me, which I find kind of odd. He is always preoccupied with something else. Usually on the weekends when I call him, he does not pick up his phone even when I know he is at home and instead calls me back the following day, from work...all of this is starting to make me think he might be involved with someone. Am I being paranoid here or am I right thinking he is not being straight with me?
What do I do? I want to ask him about it but I know we are not exclusive in any way. Any advice?

If you keep getting signs, then it's time to listen. You've posted a few times about this guy and about your concerns. Your gut is telling you something, so why keep trying to force this relationship to be something it's not?
Listen to your instincts!