Is he a player?:PART II

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
Is he a player?:PART II
3
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:10pm

Hi ladies,

If you read my post below, you will know what I am taking about here. I had a feeling the guy I went on a date with a week ago might be a little bit of a player. However, I have decided to hang out with him again as we hit it off and he was sweet and very considerate the whole night (other than those few instances I mentioned). He asked me to have brunch with him on Sunday and just hang out for the rest of the day, but I declined as I have other plans already, but we are still getting together next week.

However, something he said today kind of spurred on my "is he a player" thoughts. We were discussing his night out tomorrow as it is his bday next week and I said jokingly "maybe I will just show up at the lounge ;)" (of course I have no intentions of doing that) and his reply was "It would look really good on me if a hot blonde showed up at my party" and that was DEFINITELY not the answer I was looking for..."It would be nice to see you there" or "of course you can come" were the answers I wanted, not something so completely objectifying. That comment really threw me off. I was thinking about stopping by on Sunday to hang out, but that comment really put me off and I changed my mind.

What do you all think? I am still giving him a chance next week and kind of going on a blank slate on that date. However, I just wonder if he is objectifying me only because he does not really know me and only really knows me by my looks? I wonder if I should ask him what his longest relationship has been, I am starting to think he is a little bit of a player and might get "bored" of me in a relationship. What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 2:41pm

I'll let you in on something from a man's perspective. We get very frustrated with women that are constantly searching for hidden meanings, hidden agendas and ways to make us wrong. Come on now, take a step back for a second as you have been out on one date. He offered a fun and light-hearted compliment based on your fun and light-hearted statement to him. Unfortunately, rather than simply accepting his compliment in good nature, you're blowing this way out of line by suggesting he is a player for how he used the words.

Again, you have been out on one date. Give some time to get to know one another, your character, ethics, values and priorities before you start the race to the relationship status. If you are going to be this judgemental after a single date - then why even bother with him? Give the guy a chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 5:43pm
I agree with you...I am looking too much into it, thanks for smacking me, I am going to give the guy a chance and just go with the flow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 9:39am
I think you think too much. I think most women do. A guy says to a woman, "Have a nice day" and she is immediately seeking the hidden meaning. Its as simple as the guy caring about you and wanting you to have a nice day. Instead of being insulted and over analyzing the "hot blonde" comment, be happy that the guy considers you a hot blonde! I mean it isn't like he said it would be a bad for you to show up. I think the hot blonde comment was a compliment and no hidden meaning involved.