Is he real?
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| Mon, 02-26-2007 - 11:03am |
"this one doesnt pretend. he is REAL"...
I took this line from a thread on "gave him space.." because it hit home with me. You try to sort through the guys who only want sex, or never make it past the second date, or guys who want you as matter of convience; those who stick around but never really pay any attention to you.
But how do you keep hope if the guy you are with for at least three or four months, and longer for some, who is attentive, sweet, honest, calls just to say hello, makes plans with you, and eventually tells you first the L word? You dance in his kitchen just because, he holds your hand and hugs you in public always, you meet the kids, the mom, plans for the summer (not the "future" which keeps it more realistic)
Then, he gives you the "I'm not ready, I can't handle this, You're always on my mind, I have too much going on in my life right now, I know and appreciate the space you give me but I love you and I'm sorry I hurt you"
This happened Thursday. I'm glad to say my girlfriends rallied and I have not called or contacted him. My waves come from sad to mad. The equipment at the gym are begging me to give them a break! (Now is not the time to sit back and eat bon bons I say!)
GRRR How does one not just give up? I'm 43 next week and ended a 14yr marrriage five years ago. I don't date alot for this reason of being unsure. I Did the dating thing, but only let two men who I thought worthy of more than a third date into my life, by that I mean they seemed "REAL". Then First guy cheated on me after a year and a half. This guy says I love you, but sorry.......
How do you EVER know they are for real??????
Sigh. What's a girl to do?

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It looks like tonitoons made the point I was going to make about this not really being a broken trust situation--it's that the two of you aren't right for each other, at least not at this particular point in time (and timing is a large part of being right for each other).
As far as him contacting you, I'd let it go for now. If he does so again, I think an email asking him to please not contact you for the time being so that you have time to heal would be a good idea--it sounds like he's a good guy who would respect your wishes. I'm sure he misses your friendship but he needs to respect that you can't be friends with him again yet. Hopefully in the future but not now.
Hang in there.
Sheri
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