He says it's not a game

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
He says it's not a game
4
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 3:39pm
So, I've been seeing this guy and the other day I asked "what was this that we had?" and he responded by telling me that it wasn't just a game but he didn't want a serious relatioship right now. I didn't know what to say to that so I said nothing. Now, I don't know what I should I do. I like being with him, he's fun to hang with but I do want some kind of gurantee that he won't just sleep around with other people, regardless of how I feel. I want a relationship even if it's not that serious. Should I just tell him how I feel and risk losing him or should I just grin and bear it?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 4:15pm

So you want a sexually monogamous relationship, is that right? There's nothing wrong with asking for that directly. Of course, even if he agrees, that's hardly a "guarantee"--he could be lying about not sleeping with other women, but that's a risk you take.

As for whether you ask for that or not, it depends on how important it is to you. For me, not agreeing to sexual monogamy would be a dealbreaker...but that's not the case for everyone.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 8:20am
i am in the same situation, told my girlfriend that i don't want a serious relationship from the begining she agreed.her feelings changed after we've slept together a couple of times. we've talked about it and agreed to be faithful. she's moving in a month anyway so i will be single at that point and our relationship will come to an end. if that wasn't the case i would've ended it rightaway because i know that i have no interest in marrying her later down the road. Most men think that they can sleep with women until they get bored of them and then drop them. that is why they say they don't want a serious relationship they just want a booty call or they want acess to the door incase things get to serious. don't even think about marrage for aleast 5 more years with this guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 8:25am
by the way " a serious relationship" to a guy means not sleeping with other women. you can't change that. he's not ready for ANY TYPE of commitment. just bail out now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:26am

I agree, this man already answered her question. He doesn't want a serious relationship, which is another word for exclusive relationship.

Bail now.