He sort of called...
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He sort of called...
| Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:59am |
I've posted things on ivillage.com before and found you all to be very insightful, so I'm trying again. About a week ago, I started talking to this guy on an online dating site --and, we wound up talking for 2 hours. Same things happened the next day, and I was so excited! This hasn't happened to me in a really long time... you know, that feeling when you really click with each other. In fact, he wrote me an email saying things like, "I think you are great... I haven't had this good of a conversation in a really long time, etc." So, before I continue, I should say that to me, there are two red flags. 1) He broke up with ex (of 7.5 years!) six months ago -- he says he's over it, I'm more cautious. 2) He's a banker and has no time. This leads me to our date... the date was good, conversation flowed very well, but he got called back to work (very late on a Friday night) and was quite bummed about it. Fine, that's not his fault. He texted me that night saying that "he would make it up to me."
Well, I'm waiting.
I texted him the next day just to see how everything went at work and he responded with a text the next day. Fine, I'm patient, he might have been busy.
I responded with a call (this was on Sunday) and left a message. It's Tuesday and still no response. Normally I would realize that he just wasn't interested, but we really did get along well (which he said as well). I should do nothing, right? What's going on here?
Well, I'm waiting.
I texted him the next day just to see how everything went at work and he responded with a text the next day. Fine, I'm patient, he might have been busy.
I responded with a call (this was on Sunday) and left a message. It's Tuesday and still no response. Normally I would realize that he just wasn't interested, but we really did get along well (which he said as well). I should do nothing, right? What's going on here?

I think the only thing you can do is be patient and don't contact him. Allow him to do whatever it is he needs to do, and soon enough (hopefully) he'll contact you again. I promise. Patience is the key. Let him pursue you (i.e. contact you) again, and things will fall back into place. If he doesn't call you back within 2 weeks, then maybe give him a friendly call/text just to say hi! Nothing more. And then go from there....
Good luck! I've been there before, believe me, and patience is a virtue...he knows that. Just remind yourself every day.
~Katharine
Yes, you should do nothing. If he's interested, he'll call. The ball is clearly in his court.
This happens all the time, btw, to everyone...you have a seemingly great first date and then...nothing. Don't take it personally.
Sheri
I agree with all the previous posts. Patience is a virtue (I seem to be missing that one myself).
It was only one date, so I would say not to call him and see when/if at all you hear back from him and you can decide whether or not to pursue anything. For someone with no time, how could he have the time for such long conversations?
Sorry, I got sidetracked for a minute there. The point I was getting at is leave him be and see if contacts you. In the meantime, explore other options, don't sit and wait for him...it will only drive you batty.