He stood me up..now what do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2007
He stood me up..now what do I do?
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 10:13am

A couple years ago I used to hang with a guy from work for a few weeks but it just didnt work out because I was in grad school full time and working full time and just had no time to dedicate to anyone. We started talking again the past couple weeks every day. We met up last Sunday at a restaurant and hung out for hours just talking and drinking and watching football. That Tuesday he asked me to dinner but I had plans already with a friend and I went on vacation to CA the next day until this past Mon. While on vacation he text me every day. Said he couldnt wait to hang out when I got back, that he missed me, etc. We had plans to hang out yesterday but he had a lot of family flying in (23 people staying at his house for Thanksgiving, he still lives at home) and said we could maybe hang out after he got them from the airport if they all got in on time. He wound up just grabbing takout with them and catching up and said he was disappointed and sorry he couldnt see me and we would hang tomorrow. Today he texts me all day starting at 8am and called me at work to discuss plans to meet somewhere at 930pm after he went to dinner with his aunts and cousins and everyone that came in. At 945 he said he just got home and was showering and asked if i was ready and we talking about where to go. I said I would be ready in a few and for him to let me know where to go and what time once he got done showing. Then. I didnt hear back at all. I tried to call him and his phone was off so i just left a voicemail saying i hope everything was ok and i was looking forward to hanging out and wasnt sure what happened.

I got a text from him at 9 this morning saying Hey! I just got your text. I am so sorry I fell asleep! Happy Turkey Day!

I do not know what to do from here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 10:53am

I would give him one more chance.  I think it was unrealistic for him to try to make plans to see you when he was so busy w/ family and not starting to get ready to go out until late--better to wait a couple of days until he could spend time with you.  Based on the fact that he keeps texting you, he seems interested.  So if he calls back just make sure he is making a plan that makes you the priority, not that he'll call you after he gets done with family dinner, taking someone to the airport, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 3:17pm

I agree that this guy seems interested in you and that he seriously screwed up trying to squeeze you into his schedule when he was clearly overwhelmed.  I get that sometimes guys just get so excited to see a woman they're into that they don't want to wait and that's certainly flattering, but leaving you hanging like that is rude and inconsiderate.  I'd say if you're genuinely interested in him them give him another chance, but do make it clear that you don't want to be the something that he just fits in last minute around everything else.  If he doesn't have time to see you then he shouldn't be making plans with you. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 3:21pm
Take what he said at face value. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2011
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 5:05pm

Hi Girlie!

When i first heard this was someone standing you up I was furious! But upon reading in detail the events that happened I started to understand. I think this boy likes you! I think it was late and he really did fall alseep. Though it is a lame excuse- I mean really who falls alseep- but I think you should give him one more chance. Hopefully next time the plans are for earlier than 10pm! He sounds very interested in you by texting and calling you often. 

Give it another shot. If it happens again then we should talk moving on!



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