Is he testing me with these questions?
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| Wed, 08-23-2006 - 11:42pm |
Background: I'm the girl who asked my guy of 2 months to a baseball (he and I had a great time. Thanks for the advice).
And things are going very well. Very well. I'm happy with everything..until today.
More background: We have not been intimate. Only kissing...and slight petting, if people still use that word. =)
Today, he asked me a question about a mutual friend. Our mutual friend is 45 or so (I am 32; my guy is 30). He asked me what I thought about our friend and other single guys his age "lusting" after girls in their early 20s. I told him what I thought (truthfully), and that I felt sorry for them (sincerely and genuinely) and that I hope they find whatever it is they're looking for...because it makes me sad for them to be alone. He agreed. He had said, at first, that he found it disgusting, which I don't. And he agreed with what I said.
Moving on, my guy told me that he's put a "minimum age requirement of 31" on our 45 year-old friend's new dates. And I told him, rather flirtatiously, that girls in their 30s are better anyway. =) My guy said, "are they?" and flirted back with, "oh yes, of course they are." And then he said, "hmmm, I wouldn't know." (what...is he kidding?). I then said (still sarcastically flirting), "oh yeah, and maybe you won't ever." He then says, "probably."
I am silent...because although I know he is sarcastic and is all the time and it's fun and light and flirty, I'm not liking this exchange all too much.
And then he says, rather sheepishly, "I'm losing points here, aren't I?" And I said, "perhaps."
And then that was it...subject changed.
We had a similar conversation later that day, not nearly as bad (in my eyes), but he apologized. He said he was in a weird mood.
What's the deal?

lonely_bridget...
Pianoguy remembers responding to your earlier post....and believes he offered the suggestion about baseball game....so here comes another response (which ivillagers are welcome to accept, reject or ignore?)!
Your b/f was seeking a reaction....and he got it! Granted...his original words could have been better! But the truth remains, he 'baited you' and you swallowed the hook!
Sarcasm can be interpreted in various ways. Some men & women HATE it...others tolerate it to a certain point!
I think an age difference will always be "an explosive subject" with both men and women.
Depending upon the way your parents brought you up and your past social experiences, dating someone older or younger than 5 years can either be FREAKY or NO BIG DEAL! But irregardless of what other people might say or suggest (about someone being TOO OLD or TOO YOUNG), it comes down to your choice of accepting or rejecting any invitation(s) that come your way!
Pianoguy
What exactly did he say with which you specifically have concerns?
I'm confused.
hey lonely_bridget..
I'm guessing your problem is the sarcastic comment he made? Basically saying that he'd probably never know what girls in their 30's were like...and im guessing by that he means in sex terms.
If you've not been that intimate with him, and you've been going out with one another for a long while, maybe he's just slightly frustrated that neither of you have gone further. He probably wants to take your relationship to a higher level and without meaning to, it came out quite sarcastically. IMO it was kinda blunt of him and a bit rude (but then you say he's sarcastic most of the time so its hard to tell), but it must have hit a trigger because you've written about it on here. So he made his point and got it heard; regardless of the way it was done.
Maybe you should talk to him a bit more seriously about what he actually meant by it..Because it sounds like he has an issue but dosnt quite know how to say it, so it comes out jokingly and wires get crossed and you;re possibly feeling a bit confused and hurt? I duno.
Sorry if i've just written a load of rubbish an completely got the wrong end of the stick. I suggest you talk to him though! Goodluck!!
Thanks, everyone. You all got it right, I suppose. =) I think I was bit confusing in my message. Yes, maybe he IS frustrated...hadn't thought about that. But in all actuality, we haven't had a real moment to get "more" intimate. We're both extremely busy...but I think that "moment" is upon us. At any rate, yes, maybe you're right...he's probably frustrated sexually. Believe me, that will all be done and taken care of. =)
Thank you....he's a shy guy. Very shy, and he's warming up (which is great!), but baby steps. Lots and lots of baby steps.
~Bridget