Is he testing the waters?(m)
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Is he testing the waters?(m)
| Mon, 08-30-2004 - 1:51pm |
I have been trying to get together with this guy I like for
about two weeks now. We talk all the time in person. He really
doesn't like to talk on the phone much. He's having major
personal problems. Which I know about. He confided in me about
them and I totally understand. To me it seemed like he was
blowing me off or avoiding me. However you want to put it.
He told me that stuff happens and he couldn't help that he
bailed on me. He apologized. When I confronted him if he
Really wanted to go out. He first asked as boyfriend/girlfriend?
And I didn't say nothing but, my face turned red. He was like,
yeah, I really wanted us to hang out and have fun together.
But, I had some family problems come up. He acted kind of mad
at me for even thinking that he would stand me up. Then he
calmed down when he figured out that I like him that way. and
he apologized for bailing on me.
We can talk openly about anything. And we're pretty close. I don't
know if maybe he's testing me to see how I feel or what. Cause,
I really like him. And we have some things in common. My best friend
says that maybe it took me standing up to him and letting him know
how I feel for anything to happen. Like, we're supposed to go out
thursday. And he said he really wanted to. He's got so much stuff
going on he don't hardly get to see his brother and nephew.
So, I'm not mad anymore. But, I don't understand if he's testing
me to see how I feel or what. What do you all think of the situation?
should i be his friend and see what happens? should i forget about
it and move on? I don't know what to do because, I really like him-
as more than a friend... Do I let him know?

If he's this crabby when you're just getting to know him, imagine how crabby he'll be when he's *comfortable* with you.
Alison
If he asked 'girlfriend/boyfriend' ? perhaps he isn't that interested.
Perhaps you could clarify that you are interested in him....but want to get to know him better, no strings attached...?
If the guy is trying to 'test you', I'd run the other way. Why would he need to 'test you?' Are you trying out or auditioning for something? lol
Go on your date, be casual , nice, act interested, and then see if he calls you, etc. He is definiely giving off 'not interested' vibes. DO not pressure him or constantly call him. Approach this guy as a friend (my opnion).
good luck
I have decided to nix dating for a bit, the last 2 months or so. Anyone terrific that comes into my life - well they will have be put on hold. I have too much going on in my life right now. Its the sad truth. So, I would be this fickle wtih someone.
I am being fickle with alot of my friends because my priority is getting into a good grad school and studying for the exam. So its not like any guy should take it personally. And you shouldn't either.
When you start a rs , you want things in each other lives to be fairly calm so a rs has a chanec to grow healthy. If you start a rs when a person's life is crazy, it will be rough. I don't think you'll truly get to develop a bond with that person. Why just being friends for now is a great idea.
Don't count on getting together when things slow down, but continue going out with others, an dif things calm down for your guy, great. If he IS interested, he will make leaps and bounds to take you out, etc when his life is in better shape.
I guess that I should have mentioned that he wants to prove
to my friends that he's not a bad person. That he's not the
type of guy who would hurt me intentionally. He also wants
for us to go out with a group. He's also kind of shy. I don't
know. Maybe he wants us to be friend's first.? Maybe I am
wasting my time. But, I really like him. I feel like all men
think of me as " a really good friend." And I'm SOOOO sick of
being every man's good friend. Or little sister. I'm 24 and I
feel like an old maid.
I've only had 4 boyfriend's and they all ended up married right
after I dated them. Sometimes' I feel like there's something
wrong with me. Like, I'll be 40 yrs old or older before I ever
get married , if I ever do. Heck, I can't even get a date.
It's not like I'm hateful or not fun. anyways, thanks for listening
to me vent....