He texted me a pic of his anatomy!??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
He texted me a pic of his anatomy!??
26
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 1:44am
Oh my gosh, I can't believe this guy just did this! I dated this guy a few times, and I slept with him twice since and now he texted my phone a picture of his private anatomy part in "action"! I was so shocked. Is this normal? Or is this a bad sign - a sign that the only thing he thinks about me is a sex object and not a whole person? I can't believe he sent this to me!! What was/is he thinking? Do real boyfriends do this thing this day and age? Is this normal and I jsut don't know about it yet? (been out of the dating scenee for a while) Or is this not normal and only sleazy people do this to people they don't respect? I feel this is too way too raunchy for my tastes, and far beneath me. or am I being too much a prude and it's not really that big a deal? Should I feel offended or not? Is this normal or not? How should I take this???
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 5:19pm

Having sex with someone and sending pictures of their genitalia on a cell phone or through email are two different issues.

It doesn't matter when she had sex with this man or if she had sex. The OPs character is not in question here.

If you are a 30 year old virgin, that is your choice. Those of us that are sexually active, that is our choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 6:26pm

You should be very offended. Honey, he shows you no respect at all. Too bad you allowed him into your bed. Apparently that is all he is interested in.

Please do not have anymore to do with him. I hope that you find someone decent in an age where sex is very dominate in a relationship.

You are not a prude. The fact that you didn't have a clue as to whether or not his behavior was alright, shows that you don't know what is right or wrong when it comes to dating. Anything goes for some people and you don't sound like you are that kind of a person. You have morals and should be proud of it and not have to apologize. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 9:50am

I have been dating my guy for over a year, and he has never once sent me a picture of his private parts or an explicit text message! Ever!

Personally, I would not be happy to receive the picture and I would let the guy know that. It's very immature behavior, and I would be unwilling to continue to date the guy.

Ick! Trust your instincts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 10:44am

First of all, I just wanted to say a big *thank you* to everyone who replied. Now I don’t feel so bad for feeling grossed out. (I was hoping I wasn’t too “out of it” in this day and age where the media makes it look like you "have" to want sex 24/7 in order to be “normal”).

In fact, I tried looking at it again last night (yeah, I know, but I was trying to investigate the background in which I suspected more, but was fuzzy), so I blew it up, and get this, sure enough, it confirmed a picture of a necklace, a shiny hoop earning and blond curly hair, in other words a women’s head was right there!!! He not only gave me a picture of his anatomy – but the woman who was “activating” his anatomy!!! On my gosh, I can’t believe he did this!!! What kind of man would do this!? This man will definitely never see me again!!!

As for the questions why did I sleep with him so “early”, well, actually he’s been chasing me for almost over a whole year and I mostly kept turning him down. I went out with him a couple times after a few months of rejecting him in the beginning. After that he called me almost every day for six months straight. (And I didn’t consider it harassment either, because I confess liking the attention, even though I knew he was only interested in just sex not a real relationship, I felt some attention was better than no attention). So then I finally caved in and said, well, it’s been a long time and I can’t seem to find anyone else who shows this much interest…. Plus it felt good having him hug me, and it’s been so long since someone hugged me. I just wanted to be hugged.

So, I would consider it not so much he’s a stranger, but more that he’s just this really sleazy scumbag. And especially after looking at the background, and seeing the “ancillary” evidence, I just cannot accept this. Despite how “early” I slept with him, the fact is, I still have certain standards - and pics of him in “action” with other women are NOT one of them, that’s for sure!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 5:15pm

Having sex with someone does NOT give him automatic license to send you pictures of his genitalia through email or on your camera phone. The only way that would be OK is if you had discussed this sort of thing and agreed that you would like to receive such a picture.

Sending you a pic of his privates (and one where another woman was involved) was just immature, tacky, tasteless and stupid. Most guys would know without asking that a woman would be offended and/or weirded out. I also think when a man does this kind of thing, he is showing you what his primary interest in you is... sex. Or that he's way too excited about his own anatomy and (wrongly) assumes that you are too. Either way, it's good riddance to bad rubbish for this guy!

I would send him back a text and tell him your "relationship" is over, that the picture was offensive, and not to do it again. If he persists, file a harassment complaint. You might even want to save the pics to your home computer as evidence, if it is needed in the future. I hope not, hon.

Better luck with finding a GENTLEMAN.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 5:24pm
Yes, I now have to agree he sounds like a real sleaze, especially with another woman activating it. yuk! Also being sent by phone is also strange. I thought a picture sent by email wouldn't be so bad, as in it would not shock you because you've already seen it. Send it back to him and tell him you do not want it. He'll get the message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 5:55pm
Well, I'm gratified to see the "Ewwwww, yuck!" messages are piling up. I'd go "Ewwwww, yuck!" even if the cutest girl I knew did that to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 9:26pm
Tell me if I am wrong, but I do remember you posting that you thought strippers/hookers were no big deal. These stripper/hookers show ALL to total strangers and any loser live in person! Also many have stds, including hiv/aids. To me NOTHING COULD BE GROSSER than that, showing used up and std infested genitals to total strangers live, but you didn't seem to think so. What gives, it sounds a little contradictary?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 10:59pm

Terrilee, your posts, for the most part, come across as quite condescending and self righteous. Not every person on these boards has the extremely high moral standards you've set for yourself, and although I commend you on that as your personal choice, it doesn't mean that that everyone who does not hold those same high standards for themselves is 'wrong'. They're just different. That doesn't make them bad people. It just means they've made different choices on how they lead their lives than you have. And that's what it is....choice. It doesn't make them less than you, just different.

Perhaps you should keep that in mind when responding, because you'll find that most (probably all) people on these message boards have made choices in their lives that have turned out to be mistakes. Actions and experiences are not all that defines a person.

Posting with a holier-than-thou tone may only bring resentment, but if you choose to post with a more understanding, compassionate tone, then perhaps it might actually help others to understand and appreciate your point of view, based on your life experiences, better....and that could be a good thing for everyone concerned.

Open mind, open heart, ya know...

*end hijack*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 1:11pm

=Tell me if I am wrong, but I do remember you posting that you thought strippers/hookers were no big deal.=

Strippers and hookers aren't remotely the same thing. STRIPPERS are no big deal. Hookers are something else entirely.

=These stripper/hookers show ALL to total strangers and any loser live in person!=

No, most have their private areas covered up.

=Also many have stds, including hiv/aids. To me NOTHING COULD BE GROSSER than that, showing used up and std infested genitals to total strangers live,=

Maybe in the clubs YOU go to.

=but you didn't seem to think so. What gives, it sounds a little contradictary?=

No.