Is he too old for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Is he too old for me?
5
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 5:26pm
Well i'm 14, and am a freshman. I've started hanging out with this guy Dyllan, whos a senior. He's 16.. so he's a young senior. I knew who Dyllan was for a while, because he was dating a girl that I knew. I saw him at a resuraunt once, and we started talking. This was at the end of my 8th grade year. As summer started, we talked more, and he opened up about his relationship with his girlfriend. She had sex with his best friend and was hurt by it, yet he still loved her and continued to be with her. They took a break a few weeks ago, and in that time, Dyllan kissed another girl. When his girlfriend found out, she was devastated and broke up with him. I felt so bad for Dyllan.. he was treated so badly by his girlfriend. He made one mistake and it was the end of the world. He finally started to wise up, and realized that she wasnt worth his time. I helped him through their breakup, and let him know that i was here for him. He really appreciated it. Now we have been hanging out alot more, and im starting to like him. I told him this, and he likes me too. We went on a date last night, and he kissed me. Some friends of mine are scared. They dont think he's a trustworthy guy, and that he'll end up hurting me in some way. I understand where they are coming from, but what they say doesnt phase me. He straight up told me that he would never do anything to hurt me. Of course, I still have my guard up when I'm around him, and I know not to open up too much. I need to remember that he's a senior. I really wish he wasnt. He really is a good guy. I just dont want to start off my highschool years as the freshman whos with a senior. I dont want to come off as easy, because I'm not. I have my morals, and no guy, no matter how sweet, will make me change them. I just need to know... is the age difference too big?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 12:09am
First of all at your age any age is to big for you,as in your 14 years old!
The only thing your mind should be on is your education! Trust me you will have all the time in the world to worry about boys so slow down alitte!
Dont take me the wrong way but I have been your age and I do have a LITTLE sister thats just a few years older then yourself im just trying to enlighten you!
As it stands for you right now age is a big diff,but give it some time try like 5 years and age wont make much of a diff,you'll see things a diff way and well men a diff way too and age will just be a number I know cause my dh is 8 years older then me!
but for now stick to your education and your girlfriends!
P.S. you should check out cosmo girl they have more addvice for your age group!

Take care
Amanda
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:43am

I think it depends on your maturity level and his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:18pm

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave to my daughters that are a few years older than you. My daughters and I have talked many times about risks and consequences related to different issues, including dating.

You are young and you will be hurt. It is natural and part of the process of growing up. It won't be intentional or deliberate, but it will happen. I understand that having a boyfriend in High School is a desirable thing. I also understand that it can be pretty cool if the guy is a year or two older than you. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you keep your priorities in focus.

What do you believe are your real priorities here? Would you compromise being with friends or family for this guy? These are the kinds of risks and consequences you need to consider. I hope you can see that having a boyfriend is good as long as you don't let that relationship control the direction of your life.

The main thing is for you to enjoy life and this experience. It's your only time in life to do this. Just be safe and aware of what is going on. At the age of 14 you are starting to become more independent and wanting to make your own decisions. Just remember that as you do this, you and only you own the risks and consequences that come with the decision.

You'll do fine as long as you keep your head straight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 7:33am

saigeyyy026...

Question from Pianoguy:

Is Dyllan your first serious boyfriend?

If your answer is yes....PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF MORE TIME!

Freshman year can be exciting...and if you're pretty, you're gonna get noticed by the upper classmen! So why not enjoy the attention, but don't seriously settle on anybody for at least another year or two?

This way...you get to experience and understand the transition from junior high to high school. Trust me...you're gonna be "coming in contact" with dozens of types between now and the time you're scheduled to graduate!

Why settle for the first "older man" who might be interested in you?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 9:31am

At your age it can be a lot. So yes have your guard up. You sound like you have your values and morals in place, and that's a good thing. But you're only human as well, and humans aren't always perfect - that means you as well as Dyllan.

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