Is he want to break up with me or .... ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Is he want to break up with me or .... ?
7
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:42am

Hello everyone,
I am dating really a great guy for about two months. The relationship is going to fast we are attached to each other so quickly. We have so much in common I met his parents last week his father liked me I don't know about his mother. She was surprised about the skin colour issue but he told me she is cool about it. Here is what is going on,he started complimenting me the way I look, how nice I am, how I wear,etc starting the first date. About two weeks ago, he said I want to be honest with you, I don't like the way you look with out make up on. He started complaining about that constantly. When I had enough,yesterday I told him I don't like putting make up everywhere I go or everyday simple. And he didn't like that I felt disrespected and didn't appriciated me. Is it ok a man to say that kind of stuff early in the relationship? Anyone have advice will be great.

Rube.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:49am

Everyone can behave.....for about 2 months. ;)

He is concerned about your make-up today, your weight tomorrow and the color of you underwear in another 3 months.

Not a good sign.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:16pm

>>Is it ok a man to say that kind of stuff early in the relationship?>>

No. It's not OK at any point in a relationship. He could say he likes it or compliment you on it but any man who would say he didn't like me unless it was on would be out of my life. The other poster was right, it's a control thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 3:30pm
No it is not okay for him to say those things. He sounds very superficial to me. As one poster already said, he BEHAVED for 2 months, now the real guy is coming out. If he can't accept you with or without makeup, he is not worth your time. He will not keep up his end of the bargain down the road when more serious matters may come up.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 4:33pm

I have a slightly different perspective from the other posters. It may not be nice or polite, but IMO it is his perogative to express his likes and dislikes to you. It's up to YOU, however, to continue to date him or not, knowing what he prefers.

I personally would not want to date someone who had those preferences, however.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:45pm
Don't date a guy who gives your self esteem a beating. I dated a guy like that once and it took a lot of damage control on my part to get myself together after I got rid of him. If he makes you feel bad about yourself, then he's no good for you. You deserve a guy who likes you for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 1:38am

Ok, it is another thing to do something for our partner willingly and voluntarily, and it's another thing to feel pressured to the point of distress. U have told him what you are and what you like. He should accept it and let u be urself.

he is constantly "complaining" about ur not putting on make-up? Bad sign. He is not wanting to "break-up" with you but he is getting "critical". His real self is coming out.
And don't be surprised, if he "picks on" other things about you as time passes on.

Isn't he supposed to like u for what you are? Make-up does not make a person. How long is he capable of sticking to ANYONE if he is complaining about something like make-up?

I would advise you to look for other signs of his critical n controlling behavior, and be on guard. Tomorrow, this same quality of his might be haunting u to misery.

If he does not understand the simple fact of accepting you as you are, and is constantly picking fights about this even when u explain yourself, then it's time to say bye-bye to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 4:28pm

This early on and he's already finding fault with you, wanting you to put on a face when you're with him literally in this case. That is not a good sign. Can you see having a longterm relationship with someone who feels you must wear makeup to bed, slap it on your face as soon as you wake up, after swimming, hiking, etc?

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