he won't say i love you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
he won't say i love you
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 7:50am
I have been with my boyfriend for just over 3 years. During this time we've had a lot of ups and downs and fought a lot but we always make up and we really love each other. I'm still finishing college which I believe is the primary reason behind the fact that we haven't formed a stronger commitment. We were friends for awhile before we started going out and it took us awhile to get together so ever since we got together, we have been telling each other "I love you." Two months ago we almost broke up because he felt he needed more space but after a couple weeks, everything went back to better than normal because we both took steps to correct our relationship. A week ago, after an amazing weekend together, he broke up with me while I was on vacation and got back together with me the next day. When I got back from vacation I confronted him about his reasons for breaking up. He had been upset that I, missing him, had pressured him to tell me how much he missed me and how much he loved me. He felt/feels that I need too much reassurance from him about his love for me. We spent the next 3 nights talking for at least 2 hours each night, which we don't normally do. These conversations were friendly, joking, and open, with him hinting about how much he wanted me around but without him expressing any strong affection. The last of these nights, when I told him I loved him he refused to say it back. I asked him if he loved me and he said yes but he didn't feel like saying it everyday. The next day he said it once and when I called him later to tell him I loved him, he claimed that he had already said it once that day and refused to repeat it. I got back to school last night and I told him I loved him and he said 'okay' and finally said that he loved me too but followed it by saying 'I only say it cause you make me.' He's never had issues with saying I love you in the past 3 years except for the rocky point 2 months ago. Should I press the issue or just give him some space until he feels like saying it again? Is there any reasoning behind his actions that I'm just missing? Please help!!