He Won't Stop Calling!!!
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He Won't Stop Calling!!!
| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:57pm |
ok so...i met this guy thru a friends friend a few weeks before christmas. we got along and exchanged numbers but i knew right off the bat i was interested in him enough for anything worth while. i guess i figured i'd just go out with him for the fun of it cuz i need to get out there and give things a shot. i don't really go out with guys much cuz im too damn picky. anyways, i realized i don't even want to go out with him at all, because he's a little too much for me. gave me way too much info about himself the first time i spoke to him, asked what i wanted for christmas the first time he called me and he calls me aaaall the time now. i picked up at first but then i stopped cuz i just cant even stand listening to his voice anymore, but he still calls and leaves messages and text messages constantly! what do i do? i guess i'm gonna have to call him and let tell him too stop bothering. but how do i do that in a nice way? i guess i don't even wanna deal with it...but i dont think he's gonna stop. thanks!

Ahhh - the shoe is on teh other foot isn't it?
answer the phone and tell him no thanks, please stop calling and go about your business. It is ridiculous to hide and not answer your own phone - but then complain to the world aabout it. Honesty works best - always.
Edited 1/10/2007 11:49 am ET by tonitoons
Toni
I agree with above poster, honesty works best. If you give a fake excuse like "I met someone", he'll call back to see if you are still with him and you'll have to just deal with it then. What usually works best is "I don't want to go out with you anymore because I don't feel the chemistry needed to be in a relationship."
That is why, in the past, I have generally only gone out with guys who I have an interest in. I have gone out with a guy or two to "give him a chance" (sound familiar? everyone gets it) and it usually backfires.
so thanks for your quick responses and i guess i already knew the answer. in this case i guess it was stupid to post something considering that...however i was appalled by the accusations and judgements! i could care less about free meals...i prefer paying! i gave him my number and agreed to go out with him before he got all weird, when we had good conversation. it was after i realized maybe its not a good idea. i was not the least bit deceitful..i had an interest in meeting up with him before he turned into a too much information clingmaster. AND i'm not trying to "appease my loneliness" i'm trying to get myself out there and experience what i've been avoiding, by going on dates.
in the future if all you have are judgements on people with such little information...keep it to yourself! i came for advice not to be patronized!
When giving advice, please be mindful to not judge another person or make claims about their character. Treat others as you'd want to be treated when asking for advice.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me.
Thank you.
Hi Kerry!
Pianoguy read all the responses and came up with one question:
When an ivillager posts a thread containing an obvious question, a confused reaction, or a reason to be puzzled...aren't some of the "responders" likely to make a 'personal judgement call' when they submit their opinions?
Although I've been offering suggestions (on this and other boards) for close to 6 years, I've occasionally been 'taken to the mat' by a few women (and I think, one male?) who have asked me for advice....and then...HATED the way I expressed myself about their problem.
Let's face it! An ivillager's 'take' on someone's problem or predicament can certainly vary. And the words we use...profiding there's no profanity...usually are in reference to a situation or 'series of events' that many of us experienced in our past!
Besides...isn't self-expression the reason most of these message boards exist in the first place?
Pianoguy
Hi PG!
Yes, there will always be some sort of judgement but when it borders on a personal attack such as assuming a person is cheap or that they did something just to get a free meal or gift, that's a different type of judgement. Of course when rendering opinions we all have made a judgement based on our own beliefs, etc. But me telling you that you should have handled a situation in a certain way is different than me telling your intentions in the situation (which I have no way of knowing) and that you deserve what you got.
Hope this clears it up.
Thanks!
I edited my original reply to you.
I do apologize that you took it that way - I am not a sugar-coater and do try to be objective - though I admit that sometimes what I write and how I intend it to sound are not the same. I write what comes in my head and sometimes it sounds better than it comes across. When I'm being unfair and people call me on it, I will say when I am wrong.
That said - being fully honest about NOT wanting to go out with someone is always the best approach. It eliminates a lot of the stuff you posted about and allows you both to move on with dignity.
Again, my apologies for being judgemental to your post.
Toni
Toni
Honesty is the best way to go here. I have made the mistake of going out with a guy to give him a chance or even going out with someone a couple of times to see if he would grow on me and it has never worked. The easiest thing to do is just tell him that the chemistry is not there and move on.
YG
YG
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