head over heals......
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head over heals......
| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 8:34pm |
Okay-so most of you all know that I am seeing someone I met online--our 2nd date was last night. It went fine--but again things happened that shouldn't have...and I don't think either one of us regret it--alot of attraction...both adults. The thing is...is since he is older (42) 8 years older then me, I am struggling with believing things he says to me. Part of me can see that he is ligite--the first thing he ever said to me was, "what are you looking for?" and then he said "I am looking to be married hopefully within the next 2 years." And

But then about six weeks into it, some things started to not add up. Turns out he had put his profile back online (after we'd specifically discussed taking them down and agreed it wasn't appropriate to have one up if you were dating someone exclusively...HE was even the one to bring up taking them down!). Long story short, he turned out to be a very dishonest person who was making plans for when we'd get married, how it would work, etc., and at the same time emailing and making plans to meet other women from online sites.
So...who knows. Your guy could be TOTALLY on the up and up...or he could be like my ex...or something in between. Only dating him over time, and seeing if his words and actions are consistent, will tell you what his story is.
The biggest problem I see with becoming physical early on (at least this is what happens to me) is that your judgment is impaired. You become emotionally attached, and so you gloss over things that might make you go "hmm" if your hormones weren't involved, and/or, if you DO find out things that are red flags, you twist yourself into a pretzel to make it work, because you're already "gone".
Good luck...I hope things work out, but TRY to remind yourself that it's early and only time will tell.
Sheri
Players take all forms, and to my mind, the type like my ex who behave as though they are totally in love with you are the worst. Again, I'm not saying this guy IS a player, but given the way my ex behaved, the way your guy is acting is no guarantee that he is NOT a player.
Take a chance, but be smart and observe whether his behavior matches his words over time. I wouldn't see him more than 1-2 times a week at this point if I were you.
Sheri