Hearing from someone after an absence?
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Hearing from someone after an absence?
| Wed, 03-10-2004 - 11:09am |
What's the longest you've gone without hearing from someone? For example, say someone who was interested in you or you were interested in and maybe contact stopped for some reason? Maybe you had a date with someone that you liked and then didn't hear from them for a long time after that? What reasons were given for the silence and then reestablishing contact? Just curious what peoples experiences have been. I've noticed sometimes in my experience and my girlfriends that men can sometimes go a long time without contact and then try and reestablish contact and I really don't get why they do that.

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I have had many men who I dated very casually - a few times at most, call or contact me after months of no contact - typically because they dated someone else or they happened to find my number again, etc. I have never had a serious relationship where there was a period of "disappearance" as opposed to knowing contact would be broken off. My general thought is that with few exceptions, someone who disappears without explanation probably is not a safe bet for a healthy relationship if he reestablishes contact unless there was some kind of emergency, etc.
1.) He may still be involved with someone
2.) He may have something to hide and respects you and don't want you to know yet.
3.) He may need time to think about things thus needing his space.
4.) He could be testing you to see how long he can go without talking to you
This is all I can think of. I know a guy that has told me how much he likes me, wants to be with me, wants to settle down with me etc....and I haven't seen him in 2 months or talked to him in 3 weeks. But I know he will come back because I've known him too long.
For myself, I wouldn't have any problem telling a man that I had been dating someone else while I was "away," or that I had tried to reconcile with someone. But it seems that men are sometimes reluctant to admit to this. But they would readily tell you most other details of their personal life as reasons why you hadn't heard from them, like because they had been "out of the country" or "having financial troubles." I can only guess why they feel it is necessary to withhold information about another relationship.
Personally, I would appreciate the honesty. I could then make a more informed decision about whether I wanted to get re-involved with the guy.
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