heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
heartbroken
1
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:25am
Hello eveyone, i'm new to Ivillage. So my boyfriend and I just broke up on saturday. He is my first love and I believe we are made for each other. We were very serious and in love, but I have a quality he just can't deal with I guess, I'm stubborn. I mean we were talking about marriage and starting a family together and everything and then out of the blue he says he can't take it anymore, so I'm out in the cold and heartbroken. I've been trying to find out ways to make myself feel better but I can't what should I do? Also I still love him and want to be with him but then I think if he can,t accept me and my flaws now should I put myself through this again and take the risk of being hurt again, any suggestions? Please help me I'm so confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: inlove04
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:26pm
hi dear

i'm so sorry you are going through this - i've been there and would never wish it to anyone. but we all go through fights/misunderstanding/offense in relationships, don't we?

from what you wrote i'm not clear whether it was a mere fight or a real break up. that makes it hard to advice anything concrete..

what you do next all depends on the situation - if you were talking about marriage and family, it can't be that "out of the blue" he breaks up with you. It's been a while since you posted so maybe things have changed since..

hon, if it was just a silly fight - he'll come back and apologise. if it was more than that - then all you can do is just accept it and move on, learning from that relationship. i know it's easier to say than to do. but what else can you do? there are two of you in the relationship and if one wants to leave, there's no way to keep him. we all are free and relationship is a free choice. no one owes anyone anything..

If you haven't yet sorted things out and had another conversation with your bf, maybe it's a good idea to have it - calm conversation to understand whether he just got upset with you or he really meant it and he wants out. if you have and you are pretty sure it's over, get rid of everything that reminds you of him and start it over. i did it some time ago - gosh it was hard. it still is. but there are much worse things in life, trust me

some day you will look at him and think "hm, what was so special about him? just another guy in this huge world"

all the best to you. no one deserves your tears and ruined day - remember that

N