Heavily Confused and Feeling Unmet Needs
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Heavily Confused and Feeling Unmet Needs
| Fri, 10-15-2004 - 2:53am |
I'm 20 years old, and I've been with my guy for 1 year, 8 months. We live together, had a pretty swift moving romance, and now I feel upset that I haven't gotten a proposal. I never thought I was that girl, the one that poured over magazines looking for tips on how to lure him in, but honestly. I just don't understand.
What is it that makes me want to marry him? I really don't think I'll be hapy until I resolve this. How do I approach this conversation? I've hinted, but I know that I can't expect him to pick up on the hints. He's a wonderfully sweet guy, and I love him to peices, but what do I do?

To a woman...marriage is security. To a man...it's occasionally (but not always) "a ball and chain!"
Unfortunately...you fell into the trap of 'living together before marriage'---so your b/f probably has gotten comfortable with this arrangement and doesn't want to change it!
Not to be mean, but are your only priorities in life to be married, barefoot and pregnant?
Or...can you see something more in your life than you currently have?
If the answer is YES...move back with family, move in with friends, find your own place and start to realize a few dreams of your own. At 20...I'll bet you have at least a couple?
Best wishes and warm thoughts...
Pianoguy
<>>
Your point is well taken...and Pianoguy meant no disrespect.
There are many American women who feel that SECURITY and MARRIAGE are synonymous with each other. Not having the advantage of international travel (with the exception of 2 trips to the Philippines---where I met and eventually married wife #2), my comments probably seemed like they were more of an "american reference!"
However, after having read hundreds of international posts on these ivillage boards, I sense there are women from other countries who also feel that a husband, children, a house and a domestic situation is priority #1....and occasionally get a little frustrated when the "event" hasn't happened?
Irregardless of the country, the term "ball & chain" CAN be interpreted as a 'universal male viewpoint!' Fortunately...most of us are lucky enough to find the right wife...who doesn't turn into a "warden!"
Please don't think that I'm flirting with you...but I've always found scandanavian women very attractive....intellectually...as well as physically. A former co-worker of mine was married to a lovely woman from Denmark. While her beauty was outstanding, our converations together about different subjects...completely bowled me over!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
Pianoguy
Yes, I am your "stereotypical" Scandinavian woman, 5'10", blond and blue eyed and yes, we feel much more comfortable speaking about what in the US are regarded as controversial issues, such as sex, race, politcs and religion. In fact, I love to have share ideas and debate over such issues...have a great day Pianoguy :)
I'm 20, I'm going to go to college to get my art degree. I'm an activist (animal rights, human rights, drug reform, politics, etc.) and I have a goal of opening my own restaurant in the next 5 years. I want to have a house and kids later, but I want to live now.
I'm not whining, I'm not really obsessed. I just have this bothering me now. I want to know why it is that I want to be engaged. I'd love to be engaged for 3 or 4 years, you know, until I have my degree and I've started on my business. I want to be independant. I just don't understand this. Why do I want it?
I think if you really want this...you will have to bite the bullet and move out. A guy loves to have his cake and eat it too. Living with your guy is giving him what he wants...but you don't have what you want.
I wish you the best of luck.
Jodie
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