Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Help!
3
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 10:01pm

Ok, I need some more advice. There is this guy I am practically in love with.(kinda young for love but that is ok)... Is it ok to be friends with benefits or should I just ask him out? The only thing holding me back from asking him to be my boyfriend is that we are both twins. He is identical and I am fraternal. My younger brother is very protective and the last time I had a good thing going for me he ruined it for me. His younger brother doesn’t really care that we like each other. Should I just keep this good thing I have now hidden for a while longer or should I risk looking it.

~GG1414~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: gg1414
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 2:01am
Don't try to be a FWB and hope it will grow into something more serious. It rarely does. You should not have any sex with him at all until you and he become exclusive. That way, he'll respect you. Since you're already friends you could let him know you like him as more than a friend. Put the idea out there, then let him pick up the ball. If he doesn't respond right away (or the way you would like him to), don't bring it up again. Just continue to be his friend. At least you'll know how he feels and the door is open should he change his mind later.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gg1414
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 12:01pm

I think it is very important for you to be clear, honest and reasonable with your wants, needs and expectations. Once you understand these for yourself, then share them with him in a clear and direct manner. There is zero value in a "beat-around-the-bush" method. Men want to know what you want, need and expect in clear terms. That way, once we know these things we can make an informed decision as to what we can do and where there may need to be a compromise.

So, what do you really want, need and expect?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: gg1414
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 9:56pm

Answer me this--what