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| Sat, 10-09-2004 - 1:05am |
Hello, i am new to this board..but i really am desperate for some help. I am embarrassed, sad, and upset. I am 30. To put it straight...i have never had a boyfriend. I have never had a date. I have never had anyone be in love with me. I have been in love with a man, he was my best friend, but he could never love me. I know I shouldnt be dwelling on this...but i am lonely. I am afraid. Afraid that no one will ever be in love with me. Afraid that i will never know what it feels like to have someone who cares. I have basically given up. I am tired, tired of being alone. Tired of always being the 3rd party. My friends dont undertand...they think i am the ideal independent woman. But they dont know how alone i am, how sad i am and how much i hurt, i cry myself to sleep every night. I am at my wits end. This year has been tough...lost my job, got in a bad car accident, lost my father, had to move and leave my best friend behind. I dont have much left in me....can anyone help. I appreciate it...thank you.

it is elvis in silence...hey..hey..hey...y r u so down...look at me...i m 27 single male studying full time...and havent dated a gurl in my whooooooooooole life (27*365*24*60*60)=851,472,000 seconds have gone by without a date...(except may be dating my mom...ha..ha..ha..just kidding)..so as i said...havent dated a gurl..and feel quite lonely at times (like 23.9 hours a day)! but hey...i m happy...still living...(means breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, studying..err...i think that is life....)...so umm.....where were we...yeah..so i understand (not feel) ur situation...hey guess what..i lost my mom when i was 13...and 14 yrs have gone by without her...really is painful...coz i wanted to give her soooo much...and now that i m an independent man...with everything ready...she is not here...makes me feel soooooo bad...but i m living with it (sleeping, eating, drinking, studying)...and doing good...my supervisor in my part time job says...i have the leadership quality in me...one dear lady said...its hard to find an emotional man like you....one beautiful blonde lady kept waiting after hours in the office so she cud overhear me singing..(coz she is crazy about elvis...taz y i have the nickname of elvis in silence)..and then my fellow students say they heard of me as a very sharp student....my faculties ask me (out of 100 students) in the class to highlight a point on a discussion topic...what else? oh yeah...my friends say i m good in cooking fish...and fellow students say u r the man who will get a good job...bla...bla..bla...hmmm....i m just trying to say that every person on the earth is a winner..but on different fields...i was a very unpopular guy at my teen hood...coz i was like a very good guy...no alcohol...no gurls...quiet...and it has all paid off...at 27...i m starting to see that my style is winning...and i just know that my life is getting better...coz the style that i have is the winner in the field where ppls age are around 30 something...so ppls lives are always changing ans guess what..after night is the day...so ur night is over...and it is day that is left for u...the sun is coming out..theres nothing more u can loose...now it is time for u to gain...and only gain...like me...i know that my hard times are gone...and there isnt anything i can loose...espcially after my moms demise...and i have lived through...and thats y i laugh...a lot...coz i know no one can put me down anymore...there isnt any level left beneath...i m flat on the ground...so...time for me to take off...to towards the sky...to heaven....so....there u go....trust me zoe...ur life is about to see magical things happening...and they will feel soooo good...bcoz i have lost so much...i m emotional...and emotions come out of me through singing....playing guitar...composing music...writing poems...and most important of all...i now can give that unconditional smile and make myself fool to make others smile...coz no one can give me what i want...my lost love...so its me who can give...a lot of love...and yes...maybe through singing a lil like elvis...
'wise men say....
only fools rush in
for i cant help falling in love with you
like the river flows...
surely to the sea..
darling so it goes...
things are meant to be...
take my hand...
take my whole life too..
for i cant help falling in love with you...'
thats elvis with 'cant help falling in love with you'.....