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| Mon, 10-16-2006 - 9:52am |
Hello all! I’m in need of some honest opinions.
Over the past year, I’ve become used to being a single woman. My last relationship ended almost a year ago, because the guy I was with lied to me about being married. To make a long story short, his wife ended up calling me and confronting me about my relationship with her husband. I was so upset…hurt. I wasn’t in love with the guy; however, I had very strong feelings for him (we’d been intimate, and that made things worse). Before that relationship, I was with a guy for nearly six months who was also seeing someone else (and probably living with her) while he was seeing me. So, needless to say, I do have issues with trusting men.
I haven’t really sought a relationship over the past year. I’m actually afraid to give my heart to a person because I don’t want to be hurt or deceived again. Anywho, I met this guy who seems to be great. I really like him; however, I feel like he’s coming on too strongly. We’ve only known each other for two weeks, and he’s told me that he likes me a lot and that he thinks about me often. He isn’t pushing it, though. He tells me that he’s patient and will wait for me. While I know that it is possible to have feelings for a person rather quickly, it just scares the hell out of me that he’s professing his so soon. Is that normal, for a person to be so open so quickly? I don’t think that he’s a desperate man….he’s very attractive, successful…I’m sure he has no problem in the dating department. I wonder if it’s just me and my fears that make me think that he’s coming on too strongly. I do like him; however, I’m truly terrified to allow myself to feel for him. I say that I need time; however, I'm not sure how much time will be enough.
Should I just let him go so since I'm obviously not ready to go there with him?
Over the past year, I’ve become used to being a single woman. My last relationship ended almost a year ago, because the guy I was with lied to me about being married. To make a long story short, his wife ended up calling me and confronting me about my relationship with her husband. I was so upset…hurt. I wasn’t in love with the guy; however, I had very strong feelings for him (we’d been intimate, and that made things worse). Before that relationship, I was with a guy for nearly six months who was also seeing someone else (and probably living with her) while he was seeing me. So, needless to say, I do have issues with trusting men.
I haven’t really sought a relationship over the past year. I’m actually afraid to give my heart to a person because I don’t want to be hurt or deceived again. Anywho, I met this guy who seems to be great. I really like him; however, I feel like he’s coming on too strongly. We’ve only known each other for two weeks, and he’s told me that he likes me a lot and that he thinks about me often. He isn’t pushing it, though. He tells me that he’s patient and will wait for me. While I know that it is possible to have feelings for a person rather quickly, it just scares the hell out of me that he’s professing his so soon. Is that normal, for a person to be so open so quickly? I don’t think that he’s a desperate man….he’s very attractive, successful…I’m sure he has no problem in the dating department. I wonder if it’s just me and my fears that make me think that he’s coming on too strongly. I do like him; however, I’m truly terrified to allow myself to feel for him. I say that I need time; however, I'm not sure how much time will be enough.
Should I just let him go so since I'm obviously not ready to go there with him?

mali2579...
PG would like to reinforce the fact that it's usually THE WOMAN who controls how much and how soon! Certain men can make demands or threaten to leave if they don't get what they want...BUT ULTIMATELY...IT'S THE WOMAN WHO DECIDES "WHEN!"
From one who has had his heart broken twice...there's always the risk the same misfortune can happen again! In your situation, I'm not saying that it will? But if you're "waiting for the heartache to fall" (quoting an 80s rock group called Foreigner), don't become involved with anybody! STAY SINGLE!
Most men who are truly interested in getting to know a woman for longer than a one-night stand...will respect her! If the man you're with wants everything RIGHT AWAY...just tell him that 'you're not that kind of a girl!'
Pianoguy