Help! Advice needed! Sorry it's so long

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Help! Advice needed! Sorry it's so long
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 5:02pm

I don't know what to do and I need help. My boyfriend and I are currently on a break and this has been going on for about 2 weeks now. It all started when I caught him talking intimately with another girl. He had a myspace (Hey, who doesn't nowadays? To those who don't know what myspace is, it's like a personal website to meet new people or keep in touch with friends) and he wanted me to fix it up a bit. So I told him that I would and when I did I found messages from a girl with the subject "Hey Babe." I remember his exact words because those words caused me some heartache. He was telling her stuff like "I can show you a good time ;)" and he's asking her if he can come over to see her that night (there was more things said but I'm going to try to keep this message short). I also noticed that it was the same time I was talking to him on the phone. Now I don't know if he actually did anything with her. So I called him right away to ask him about this. His excuse? He says that this girl won't leave him alone and by talking to her in this way, it's the only way she wouldn't bug him so much. He says that he didn't do anything with her and that they're just words and mean nothing. I guess the problem is is that this girl is one of his good friend's little sister and she can cause their friendship to be broken if he hurts her feelings on any way. I don't know if I should believe his excuse. Right now, I feel that I can't trust him anymore. We've been talking about it a lot and he's doing all he can to keep us from breaking up officially. He even wrote me a long letter telling me how much I really mean to him, how sorry he is for doing what he did, and how much he loves me. I enjoy being with him and talking to him. He's a good guy. But what he did really hurt me. If we get back together, I don't want to be suspicious all the time and be really nosy because I think I might just drive us both crazy.
Another thing is, I think I might like his best friend. Before me and my boyfriend got together, me and his best friend were talking a little bit. But there was one problem, distance. He was going to college in Northern California while I stayed in Southern California. Lately, we've been talking and he told me that he was going to school in Southern California (not the same city as me, but closer than before). I don't know how he feels about me anymore. He may be flirting with me, but he just may not be that into me like before. I don't want to ask him because I'm afraid that I'm going to be pushing him away.
I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. Should I just let them both go? Should I continue to weigh out my options?

P.S. I'm sorry this is so long.