Help am I irreversibly screwed up?
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Help am I irreversibly screwed up?
| Wed, 10-20-2004 - 4:24pm |
Help me my heart may ruin my life. I am in love with a man I may never have. Yah I know aren’t we all . Well he’s an actor he’s not a huge actor but non the same I still love him and have since his comeback in 1995. Another problem he's 30 I’m 19. I also have a unrealistic goal that I will be with him. This summer I plan to spend 2 week in New York just hoping to get to talk to him. I would give up everything and move to New York to be with him. I would even do a one night stand. Which is really bad cause I’m a virgin. I really love him and I think I have a chance with him. Am I a lost cause?

I think you should get some help and I am not saying that meanly but if this is a man you don't even know, then you can't be in LOVE. To be in love with someone you have to spend time with them, you have to know them personally, and know the good and bad sides of them.
If you haven't even spoken to this guy, you have no idea if he is a jerk or if he is selfish or if he has been abusive to his xgirlfriends, or if he nice... you have no idea.
I know what it's like to like someone we see on tv. YOu might have a dream about them. If they are a famous singer, you go to their concert, if it's an actor, you make sure to catch the tv show or play they are in, but to believe you can actually love someone you haven't meet is incorrect thinking. You can be infatuated with him, or think he is hot, but that's about it.
I suggest that you find a Real guy, around your own age, who you can go on dates with and get to really know so that way you may fall in love for real and know the difference.
Also just because you get to NY, and you meet this actor, there's no way to know if you are even his type. You might have brown hair and are short, and he likes tall blondes, or he might think you are too young for him or he might even have a girlfriend... and just because he might have said in an interview that he is single, does not mean he doesn't have a girlfriend..sometimes actors don't tell the truth for different reasons. And even if you got him out on a date or spoke to him, like I said above you have no idea what kind of guy he is. Even though he is a celebrity (or a minor one) does not mean he won't be a jerk or even do something dangerous like rape you. Think about the girls who have claimed that they got raped by celebrity sports-stars. Those girls probably trusted those men because "they are famous" but being famous doesn't make any one perfect or trustworthy.
xoxkittenxox...
Pianoguy doesn't think YOU are a "lost cause!" MISDIRECTED...maybe?
For starters, does this man you're in love even know you exist? Is he married? Has he ever given the slightest indication that he's SINCERELY INTERESTED in you? Or is this a young girl's infatuation with an older man? .
Ask yourself these questions....please?
1. Is my only goal in life to be with this man?
2. Does my desire to be with him completely override any other dreams I've had for myself?
3. If he agrees to a 'one night stand'---and then dumps me---will I be able to handle the rejection? Or will I become a complete 'basket case' and do something incredibly stupid?
If the answer is YES to any (or all) of these questions....it's clear that you're not mature enough to make the trip to NYC! This is clearly a case where your head should overrule your heart.
Please consider getting some professional help if you're really serious about this!
Pianoguy
Just to elaborate a little more. No I do not personally know him. Yes I am going to New York to try to meet him. From the way I have seen him treat his mother, (she lived with him while she was sick), he took care of his dying brother. I'm tall with marroon hair, he likes brunettes. Hes had a girlfriend for 2 months. I live in hicktown, USA not that many "real guys" around here.
No he doesn't know I exist I live in Freeport, PA, him in NY. No It's not my only goal. I have the mind and body of a 27 year old. They last guy I dated was 25. My real dreams are already lost. I've "settled" into school for a lousy career. I do believe I'm mature enough to handle a one night stand. I've had "no penetration" one time hookups and felt great about it.
We both drink like a fish, are vegans and love movies and acting.
Except he's a very heavy chain smoker.
Please give me more feedback.
P.S. He's a real acter in big movies not t.v. shows or theater.
Hi,
Be very careful if you are really planning to travel to NY to see someone that you have never met in person. Most actors have security around them and if he has a girlfriend he may reject you no matter who you are. Another question is why would you want to approach a guy with a girlfriend, is that fair to her? It's unrealistic to attempt to travel the distance to meet a man that you admire on the screen. I hope you reconsider. Lucy
The 1st time you have sex will be painful, you might bleed and the chances you will get any enjoyment are slim.
I have talked to men and read posts on this website where men have said that taking a girl's virginity is not a walk in the park... it can be painful to the guy if she is too tight. I doubt any man, an actor or not, would want to take a girl's virgnity as a one night stand. As soon as he realizes you are a virgin, if you don't tell him ahead of time, he will probably want to stop because he knows that losing one's virginity is a big emotional deal and why would he want to deal with that. If he's an actor than he can get any girl he wants... think about it.. why is going to want some girl he hardly knows. And how do you know that he will want a one night stand.. not all guys are horny 24/7 and willing to jump on any girl they see.
Just because he helped his brother out when he was sick does not make him a great person... he could still be a rapist or a jerk.. you never responded to the part of my post about how you have no idea what kind of guy he really is since you don't know him personally.
Also he could have an std. Even if you use protection you can still get HPV (which has been known to lead to cancer of the cervix) or you could get herpes. If he is 30 yrs old he has been around the block and 1 out 5 people have herpes and I read that a lot of men have it and don't even know it.. do you want to risk getting a disease?
The reason most women lose their virgnity to someone to they love and know and are in a relationship with, is because it is something that is painful and you need to be doing it w/ someone who cares about you, and will be slow and gentle.
Your virgnity is not something to throw away - just because you havent meet anyone right now does not mean you wont meet mr.right and you will regret losing your virgnity to a man who does not care about you.
You sound really sad - you said you have a lousy career path.. you are only 19 - you can change your degree or your career path. I think you need to get into counseling to increase your self esteem. I understand that it may be difficult to find someone since you said that you live in a small town but come on, are other girls your age trying to hook up with some guy in NY they don't know. I don't think so.
I also wanted to post and say....
even if this actor is a nice guy and not a jerk and you do get to him, the chances he will have a one night stand with you are very very slim. Even if you are his type, etc. and he finds you attractive but celebrities have to look out for themselves and make sure to avoid scandals. Like I said before with all those male celebrities who get charged with rape (usually by 18or 19 year old woman) he isn't going to want to take the chance of you coming back and trying to charge him with rape. Think about it - he has money, he might think you are just after that.
If you lie and say you are 25 (you said you look older or whatever) and he does actually like you, he will have to find out the truth like if he takes you to a bar, you will get carded on the way in. And when he finds out you are a virgin, he will probably know that you aren't as old as you say you are.
I guess the main reason I am just amazed at the stupidity of your post is that you said you loved him. But then in your 2nd post you say you are just looking for a one night stand. Both loving him or wanting a one night stand are both unhealthy and you haven't responded to any of my valid points in this matter so I hope I got thru to you.