Help Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Help Confused
2
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 2:02pm
I've been a member here since 2003. For those of you who don't know me long story short. I dated a guy for 3 years and he decided to break up with me over the phone. Up until 6 months ago he kept calling me, making sure I was still available telling me he missed me. T'ill he found someone else. Well now he's dating someone and I had put my life on hold for him because he led me to believe that we were going to get back together.
We were together 1 month before he text message me he was seeing someone. It was hard for me to move on. I've been on a few dates since then. But the guys I've met lately don't want a serious commitment. There's this one guy who has been my friend for about 10 years and everytime we wanted to get together he was either seeing someone or I was seeing someone. Now that were both single I told him how I felt about him and he said he wasen't ready to jump into another relationship just yet. I respected his answer. I gave him his space. We call each other, get together sometimes, but everytime I call him I end up leaving him a message and he'll call me back 1-2 months later. I get so upset and he tells me he's been busy. So I tell him if he has time to go to the washroom then he has time to call me back. But he keeps doing that to me. He's not seeing anyone else, so he says. Anyway I'm confused. He's not the same guy I used to know. The guy who wanted me years ago. I just want to know why he changed? What am I doing wrong? I really like him, he's a great guy. What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hurt2003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 3:50am

hurt2003...

PG is only guessing, but (based on what you've written) he's willing to bet that the moment you get involved with somebody, YOU want to know where things are headed?

Apologies if I'm incorrect, but I think you've probably expected more responses than you've actually gotten? And as soon as you realize there's no solid communication between yourself and the men you're interested in...you get frustrated?

I think your comment about 'going to the washroom' was terrible! Are you suggesting that a person should "HOLD BACK FROM RELIEVING HIMSELF" just to make you happy by making a phone call?

C'mon......!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: hurt2003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 6:18am

What you're doing wrong is putting your life on hold for someone who is obviously not interested. Do you think if this guy wanted to be with you that he would wait 1 or 2 months to return a phone call? I understand busy, but that's called keeping you at a distance so you understand there's nothing serious going on.


Don't listen to his words, watch the actions.


His actions are screaming at you and you're ignoring it. He's not a great guy. A great guy does not keep you hanging on, stringing you along or have you waiting. A great guy communicates his real intentions and follows through on them.


My advice is to drop him. You can do (and deserve) a lot better than this. Do you really want to be in a relationship in which you do all the work? Do you really want to have to pursue someone?


Kerry