Help! He's leaving for the Navy in Aug.

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Help! He's leaving for the Navy in Aug.
2
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 1:03am
Hi all,

I'm feeling really depressed and sad-i'm falling in love with a guy who will be leaving for the military in august. We have known eachother for a while but have been dating for a little over a month. However,my feelings are getting strong for him as well as his feleings for me. We both have alot in common and love eachother's company. We both feel like this is it-true love,the one,etc.I knew him from work and ran into him a month ago. Feeling skeptical(I have dated nothing but losers before),I gave it a try anyway and glad I did. He is so perfect for me. Unfortunatly,a week after we started seeing each other,he enlisted in the Navy(he was planning on it anyway). We only have 2 and half months together,then he leaves for basic training august 12th.We both are dreading the day he goes,but I think it's affecting me more, or at least I express it more.

We have spent alot of time together in the past month and every day that goes by we feel stronger about eachother. I have never felt this way about anyone before. We talk about what will happen when he leaves,but we are trying to make the most of his time here. I have tried LDR's before but they never worked,that is what i'm scared about,and the fact that I won't have him around and will miss him to death. I really want this to work out,I have high hopes about this. Each day that gets closer to when he leaves,I feel even more sad. I don't want to be miserable,I want to enjoy every moment we have. But i'm afraid the more attached I get,the harder it will be when he goes. What should I do? Keep seeing him and try out a LDR? We are both young-23,and I know I still have to go to school and get my life together. I try to think positively that at leats while he's gone,I'll get my life on track. I just can't imagine being without him,especially for months at a time or longer. We have a hard time being apart for even a day or two.The worst part is,there is a good chance he could be stationed in Conneticut,which is at least 15 hours away from Maryland.So it's not like we could drive on the weekends to see eachother,nor could we both affors plane tickets all the time.

I didn't intend for this to happen,but it did and I do not regret dating him and getting into a relationship with him. When we are together we just seem like two peas in a pod.

This is probably the hardest thing i've had to go through. My heart aches knowing that i'm falling in love with him and knowing that I won't have him around in a couple of months. What would you do in this situation?? Any advice or insight will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.

--Sad in Maryland

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 2:01am
Hello there, I am new in this message board, but reading your experience, all I can say to you is that love -whenever it happens, and no matter how long it lasts- is always a blessing and a fantastic gift in anyone's lifetime. So I think that the best is to be spontaneous with your feelings for this guy, enjoy each other's company for the time you have left, and stay focused in present time. Fear is something that happens when we live in the past or in the future, instead of living in the present. I think that if you take care of your heart and keep realistic expectations of what you two really can share in the long run, you will be fine. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 12:51pm
Wow - it sounds like me about 3 years ago with my X. I dated a guy (someone I knew for about 10 years from HS) that enlisted into the ARMY and well, it was so so so hard. He went to boot camp in South Carolina and well, that was touch - not being able to speak to him etc. After boot camp he came home and left for Arizona, which was tough (the distance thing), but we were in contact more often and shortly after Arizona it was South Korea.

What I am trying to say here is that I feel your pain. It was hard and we use to write letters all the time. I would sit at home and cry missing him b/c it seemed like as much as everyone said they understood, they didn't (b/c your boyfriend was overseas etc). I did get to visit him a lot in Arizona (I would fly out once or twice a month), which was a bit expensive. But all in all - it made our time more precious with one another.

I also highly recommend the navy wives website. Although you are not a wife, there are many girlfriends and significant others that participate. You are able to converse with people that are in your same shoes. www.navywives.com

Good luck with everything. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Brandy

Branmae@aol.com