Help, I am going crazy
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| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 6:45pm |
First things first, I have been knowing this guy for quite sometime.
Well, a couple of years ago I dated a guy that a very good friend of mine dated in high school. She got very mad and so on and so forth. Needless to say, we still don't speak (my friend and I). Well it was not working out with the guy and I and we just lost touch I guess.
He has or should I say was dating this girl for about the last two years and recently they broke up. I just happened to text him to see what was up and he responded and apologized for the past and wanted to make it up to me by taking me out. I agreed and everything was great. We went out and had a great time. Caught up on the past and he promised that he would not hurt me again if I gave him another shot. That was on Saturday. He came over on Sunday and cooked supper for my daughter (10) and I. He came over again on Tuesday and watched a movie with us and then came on Thursday night to visit. Friday morning he left to go hunting and would be back on Sunday. Sunday afternoon after calling and texting with no responses I finally got a response and he said he was talking to his ex and it was not going good and he would talk to me tomorrow.
Finally, on Monday afternoon I get another text that states that he doesn't know what he is going to do because his ex just told him she was pregnant. I told him I understood and that I would be there for him if I needed him. Meanwhile before all this we were talking all the time. Now when I call him he does not answer and when I text him he just responds that he will talk to me tomorrow. I am just confused. I know he needs space because of the information he just received but we were friends before we were dating. I just feel avoided or maybe I should just leave it alone. I don't know what to do. I really thought that we could make it work this time. Maybe his ex said she was pregnant because she found out that he was dating me and wanted him back. I don't know what to do, help!!!!
Edited 12/11/2006 8:16 pm ET by mlvincent26

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I am going to try to not call him or text him for a couple of days but is hard with the weekend coming and my daughter is going to her dad's, it leaves me with a lot of time on my hands and it frees up my mind for a whole lot of thinking.
I just wish it did not have such an adverse affect on me. Why do you think this only happens with this one person?
It seems that timing is everything, and this particular time frame for you and this guy is just not good. He needs to resolve the pregnancy issue thing with her.
The ex may use the pregnancy to lure him back, have nasty interactions with him (for some any attention is fine) and make this potential relationship with you go sour.
Because you are feeling needy with this particular man it would be hard for you to back off from him a while and let him resolve this dilemma, but that is what might be best for you. Your emotions are sensitive right now and being around this man right now may just leave you feeling hurt all the time because his mind is on other things. You have had space from him in the past and it has worked in your favor before.
You have mentioned a couple of times that you will "be there for him". Try to not be there for him, because it doesn't seem like he is reaching out to anyone for help. He is certainly not there for you. I know that this sounds cold and calculating but if he has mixed feelings about this pregnancy and his ex, he will definitely not go to you for help. And that may be what is going on too. He may actually want the child or a possible reconciliation just because of the child. If he goes back to her just because of the child, in the long run it may not work. those things rarely do.
The only thing you can do is wait this out and see what he does. It is not fair to you but you really don't have any other choice, unless you 'd like to date other men or just remain solo for a while.
JOANNE
MAMAN2GOONS@AOL.COM
<< What is the deal? Should I just ask him where we stand or what? Should I just ignore him, no texts, no phone calls, no nothing and see if he calls? Any advice would be great!!!>>
I haven't read all of the responses, but ... just after reading this one ... all I can say is GOOD GRIEF! Do you need to get over the head with a frying pan to "get it"!?
Pardon my bluntness, but ... regardless of whether she is or isn't pregnant, regardless of whether she's making it up or whatever ... there is OBVIOUSLY still unfinished business between them ... so, let it go. Where you stand is in the middle of him not having things (yet) resolved ... perhaps he's TRYING to move forward ... but circumstances being what they are ... that's not happening yet.
So save yourself the grief and find a guy who doesn't have a pregnant (or pyscho!) ex-GF ... because either way, neither option is good for you.
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