Help me gain some perspective...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Help me gain some perspective...
13
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 1:07pm
I need some insight into dating. I've never been a big dater. If it comes up, I definitely do it but usually I am busy with work and school and such. In the past, I have been fortunate to date a few men, find one I truly liked and continue on to have a relationship with him.

It's been about 3 years now since my last relationship. I've dated and met many men that did want to start something more but my interest level hasn't been so great as to want that with them. I guess I'm getting a tad concerned as to whether or not I've become completely jaded. I would like to be in a committed relationship, would like to find a man I am compatible with but am afraid I've become too critical.

How do you know the difference between not meeting a person who would be compatible with you in a relationship as opposed to being too critical about the people you are meeting?

Any insights are welcome...

 

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:51pm
A very helpful book along these lines is "Finding the Love of your Life" or something like that by Neal Clark Warren. It helps you break down what you're looking for to the basics so that you're not working from too long of a list of "musts" and "dealbreakers" that no one could satisfy.

If you do have a wall because of past hurts, that's not going to come down without you consciously working on taking it down, and generally that means working with a counselor (few people have the self-awareness and resources to do it themselves).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:25pm
Sheri, are you the one who's always recommending books? I think I've read a few of your recommendations to others in the past and have found them quite good. :) Thanks for your input!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 9:26am
I havent read all the other responses yet but I believe as we get older we get more selective.
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