Help me to survive this break-up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Help me to survive this break-up!!!
2
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 10:41pm
Guys,

My boyfirend & best firiend of four years just broke up with me. Though we had not been intimate in over 2 years, we were quite close. We always spent saturdays together (walk in the park, dinner, watch movie) and spoke to each other EVERY night for the past 4 years! Yes, 'am not kidding, he called me & spoke to me EVERY DAY for the past 4 years. On top of it, we also work together(thats how we met). He has always said that he did not want to get married but I want to. But he cared for me a lot and I did the same too. On top of it, my family lives on the other side of the planet and I have totally no friends here (except a couple of casual acquaintances at office). I dont even have anybody close enough to talk about all these things. What can I do???? How do I get over him???? How do I get friends?? PLEASE HELP !!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 2:53am
Keep yourself busy. Join a volunteer group- at church with the government. There's lots to do to help people, and you can meet people there too. You can take Salsa Dance lessons or ballroom dance lessons. Or go online and create a profile- just creating one on match.com one time helped me focus and see what it is I wanted. I didn't follow through with it, but it helped sort myself out. Do arts and crafts. Throw yourself into a good book. Travel. Pet lots of dogs and puppies and cats. Exercise. Whatever it is you choose to do- do a lot of it and various activities. (Karate, Capoeira, etc.) You can meet people there and keep busy to keep your mind off things- and realize there are millions of people out there just like you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 7:30am
singlenusa...

Pianoguy admires your fortitude, but after 4 years...it's clear that you missed the point of this whole relationship.

Your b/f (if he was actually that)...considered you A GOOD FRIEND...but not necessarily WIFE-MATERIAL! Apparently, he felt comfortable enough to call you everyday and share Saturday nights together, but you (understandably) expected that he'd eventually 'come around' with a marriage proposal.

Why would you even think that when he made it clear that this wasn't what he was interested in? This was 'your cue' to either accept the friendship...or seek another male out who had dreams that were compatible to yours?

Since you're starting all over again...why not cultivate a few friendships? Do some volunteer work, enroll in an enrichment course, join a group of people who have interests similar to yours...but DON'T expect any of the people you meet to 'instantly fall in love with you!

See if you can learn to think about each of them with YOUR HEAD as well as YOUR HEART!

Pianoguy