help me understand this guy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
help me understand this guy...
3
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 11:30pm
I have been reading this message board for some time, and always appreciate the good advice. Here is my dilemna:

Several months ago, I went out with this guy a few times. Everything was going well, we really hit it off, but after a couple of weeks, he cancelled a date at the last minute and sent me an e-mail the next day saying he was sorry, but nothing about going out again. I wrote him back and said that I was upset about what happened, but since he was sorry I would give him another chance. No response back from him. Several months went by, I had a couple dates with other guys, but no new relationships. Then, out of the blue, the guy from a few months ago e-mails and says how sorry he is for how he acted, and we started talking, and he told me he would love another chance. So, we went out again last week. He was very sincere, and said he was glad I gave him a second chance, and he said he would call me, which he did 4 days later. But, he did not ask me out for a second date when he called! After about 10 minutes of trying to figure out what was going on, I called him back and asked him if we wanted to go out again sometime (I know, I probably shouldn't have done that.) He said he absolutely wanted to go out again, but was going out of town for work that week and again that weekend (which I know he really is, it's not some excuse) and that he was waiting until he could make definite plans. Three days later, and I have not heard from him, and now he is gone until next week. Should I expect him to call when he gets back into town? Am I right to be skeptical after the way he treated me in the past, even though he has been much more honest with me this time around? I would appreciate any ideas on this situation!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 9:43am
Go with your gut. No guy is worth WAITING for. Let him come to you if he's interested. Move on in life, cuz this guy sounds like he's just not quite sure what he wants, and those are the worst to start any kind of relationship with. If he does call, go out and have a good time, and that's all. Don't try to make it romantic or anything at this time. Just consider it something to do, and someone to spend time with. GO WITH YOUR GUT... Oh yeah, and considering you have alittle jilt with him from how he treated you previously, that can lead to a grudge. If he doesn't want the good thing you have to offer then boo-ya. Get yourself a REAL man :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 10:43am
This is the scenario I am picturing: he has a wife or a girlfriend and you are his "thing on the side" that he calls up when he has a fight with the wife/girfriend.

Or some variation of that. I think he's playing you. I know you probably like him a lot so that will be hard for you to do, but I do think it's what you need to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 8:29pm
Well, I know for a fact that he does not have a wife or girlfriend, because we have some common acquaintances. But I can't figure out why he would want to go out again after all this time if he wasn't interested in me! He is such a puzzle...