Help! my head's uck fupped

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Help! my head's uck fupped
1
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 10:42pm
I broke up with my x fiancee over 2 year's ago,and until recently was pretty cool with being a bachelor,then fate stepped up & gave me a curve ball.I met a gorgeous young woman who's 2 year's older than me & got surprised over how strong my attraction to her was/is.The problem I have is whether or not to ask her out?Not as simple to answer as u think,the reason for that is:I've already embarressed myself by telling her MUM how I felt about her,WHOOPS ain't the word.I'm sketchy about asking her out,just in case I get shot down on my "come back tour".My x took to my self esteem/ego with a sledge hammer,and now I'm worried that the panel beating I've done over the last 2 and a half year's is gonna get written off.Some1 please reply n give me a perspective from outside this fish bowl?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:24pm
Ooooh, you're okay. :) You'll be just fine - so you told her mum. That's not the worst thing in the world. Embarrassing, yes, but you never know - she might just think that's the sweetest thing she's ever heard! (I would think it was sweet if I was this girl). LOL

You'll never know this unless you ask her out. I would just ask her out as if you'd never mentioned it to her mum. Who knows? Maybe "Mum" hasn't even told her what you said. ;)

If you get shot down....well, aah, yes, that will sting. But you can't let that stop you from trying.

Shame on your ex for beating the crap out of your self esteem. That's lousy, and hopefully Karma will come around and bite her uppity butt.

Now you must work on building that self-esteem back up. If she shoots you down, just remember this: the girl hardly knows you. She's not rejecting you, she's just rejecting the idea of you, which isn't so bad - it doesn't mean you are an undesirable person.

Good luck! I definitely think you should ask her out. And work on getting back some of that self esteem - tell yourself over and over again: "I am awesome. I am a wonderful person. I am caring. I am fun." You get the idea. Drill it into your head over and over again - my self-esteem has taken a bloody beating over the years, too, but I've been really trying to work on it since I became single again four months ago. I have my good days and my bad days, but I am getting to feeling SO much better about myself than I ever have.

Another thing to try is to list in your mind all the things that you think are bad about yourself and then tell yourself "That doesn't make me a bad person." And anything Ms. Ex Finacee said to you degradingly, well, think, "Oh, stuff it!" Start thinking of all the ways in which SHE wasn't perfect, either. (One of those ways being the pummeling to smithereens of your self-esteem - that's just pure nastiness on her part). Basically, "Take it where it was coming from..."

Sorry to ramble....but I just wanted to try to pick your spirits up somewhat humorously and ENCOURAGE you to ask this damsel out!!!! Go for it! You've got more to lose if you DON'T ask than if you do!!!


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