Help - parents fought, now i fight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Help - parents fought, now i fight.
3
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 5:36pm
Can I stop?

When I'm having a great time with my boyfriend, I cause a fight for no reason.

My parents fought (and still fight). I hate it. Who likes that sort of conflict always residing and present? We were always worried about the next explosion.

Now I'm becoming like that for no reason. I push my boyfriend away because I'm afraid of hurting him and being hurt. He loves me and I love him. I don't like to fight, but I fought. Why? How can I stop? Someone help me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 8:45pm
dittly...

NOBODY says you have to react the way your parents did. So why not become a "grownup" and be loving around your boyfriend...and dump the hostility crap!! There's no reason for it and it's only going to bust up your relationship!

Repeat after me...."I'm not going to be like my parents" several times. You'll eventually convince yourself!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 9:20pm
Yup, you're right piano guy.

And i knew that all along... and kept telling myself that all day long. Yeah. I just need to take deep breaths or something and think before I speak. Common knowledge, I know it's true. My snapping tongue is my demon and it always has been. I can carry a normal, grown up job. I should be able to do the same thing and act in the same manner and rational as I do in my relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 10:43pm
dittily...

Pianoguy knew you were a smart lady...sooooo....

Next time you're tempted to 'verbally attack somebody'----think of the consequences FIRST!

Once you do...you'll probably avoid making that negative remark...and wind up getting hugged instead!

At least I hope you do?

Pianoguy