Help! please!
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Help! please!
| Wed, 05-12-2004 - 1:20pm |
Ok, I've been dating a guy for two years. We've had our ups and downs, but usually we work everything out. Well our first year together he lived near me.. we were so happy and saw each other all the time. I had just recently lost two important people in my life when he found out he got a job 2 hours away and had to move. We opted to stay together. To him breaking up was not an option. However I was crushed. I felt like I was being abandoned again and that he was going to move on. We got over those initial problems, but with me in college and starting a new job also I didnt have much free time to travel to see him. He comes home every weekend to see me and his friends. He even told his family he was finished looking for someone he had found what he wanted... But, I never really got over the fact that he moved and I think it finally began to cause problems a year after the move. I started resenting that he wasn't with me when I needed him and he was upset I couldn't get up there more often. He hates living away and he's generally depressed except when he's home. He only works, never goes out while he's away. We used to both be very happy and now we're both so depressed during the week. His sister just recently got a divorce also, I don't know if that has something to do with it. I think he pulls away from me because he's afraid he'll get hurt too.. He's grumpy with me during the week and on sunday when he leaves, but the time we're together everything is great. Why is he grumpy and distant during the week?

Stop resenting him for not being there (bc it sounds like he is there for you as much as humanly possible) - and work on you internally. Work on being more independent. I think you will be so much happier at that point.
Trust that people can work out their own issues, and will come to you if/when they need help but you can never force help upon a person.
Good luck. -Surfergirl-