Help - Should I run and not look back?
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Help - Should I run and not look back?
| Tue, 03-14-2006 - 9:21am |
We're reaching our year anniversary and I still have this weird feeling that things aren't as they seem. First, when I met him he told me he was married but separated, he was currently dating a girl 15 yrs younger than he, and that he had a child out of wedlock that his wife was ok with - ???? He also said that he'd never been faithful in a relationship, that he was codependent on his girlfriend but that he wanted to break up with her. I didn't care at the time, I wanted what I wanted. For 2 months, he cheated on the girlfriend with me while she was in school out of state. When she came back he broke up with her BUT they were going to try to stay friends - out of guilt for him, god knows what for her. BAD idea! That thorn was in my side for 9 friggin' months - she left stuff in his closet, she'd call him all hours of the day, he let her have a cell phone. He's told her to go NC back in October, then again in December, then again in February - what gives? Is he still into her? He says he isn't. Should I worry he doesn't have boundaries at work too, if he's so weak with his ex. I hate feeling that I'm a sucker by saying,"...but I love him."

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It sounds as if you have made up your mind and have jumped to the defense. I wonder if anything has changed or if you are trying to save face. If you recall I said that these actions come from insecurity. While you say you may not need him to complete you, you seem to need to fix him. He is the only one who can fix himself. Therapy didn't take because he didn't let it. If it does now then that's great for him. Where does all of this leave you? If he gets 'fixed' can your relationship survive? Clearly if he doesn't it can't.
I can only say that I wish you luck and hope you find what you need.
E
I'm sorry, but this may not be what you want to hear.
I've been away for a few days, so I may have my facts confused...but didn't you say in your original post that he'd had contact with the OW as recently as February (as in, *last month*)????
If so, it's sure doesn't sound like the therapy is "taking" this time around either.
Sheri
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