He's back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
He's back...
10
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 12:04am

Here we go again...But, I doubt if I go there. Ok, the guy that I've posted about on here that I made the mistake by watching the Paris Hilton sex tape with and letting him touch my body(I wasn't ready for sex) has contacted me again via my yahoo mail address.

He didn't technically ghost, we had just stopped speaking because he got angry/hurt/demanding when he thought he was going to get sex and did NOT. I had written him off for this type of behavior and also for a comment that he made that was very clear to me that he wanted/expected any girlfriend of his to engage in "anal rimming". I'm not into that and I told him that, but now he's back wanting to talk.

Several women on here think that I was wrong for teasing the guy. Yeah, I was. It WAS poor judgement on my part, I admit that. I dunno, we got along great, and he was a gentleman, but there were red flags and truthfully I'm not thinking this guy deserves another chance.

Opinions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 1:09am
You don't seem very sure of what you want. In fact, your post screams "desperate to get a man, any man". The red flags are there and they won't go away even if "you get along great". He's into stuff you're not, he expects "anal rimming" of any GF, he gets angry when he doesn't get sex when he wants it. This gentleman seems to be a wolf with a sheep's skin. You exercised poor judgment according to you, learn from this experience and never make the same mistake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 1:49am

lightandbright, thanks for your post. I always have some part of hope in the part of my brain where the emotions are that people aren't really that bad. But, the logical part knows that it's rare that people aren't what they presents themselves as. I know this and tell other posters this often. It's really harder for me to see things as clearly when it's personal to me. Which is why I ask for advice when I'm dating. I haven't done it often since my marriage broke up.

I'm very disappointed in this man's behavior, true. There are women on the online dating board that says that his anger is justified since I asked him to download and watch the Paris Hilton tape with me, and I agree. But, he held a grudge for days and I cannot overlook the other red flags that were there in the beginning.

I looked on his profile and he has recently added a comment that describes his hair: dirty blond on top with grey on the sides. Then he adds in parentheses,...(deal with it)...

What kind of crap is that??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:42am

LMAO, he sounds like an idiot.

Just don't go there again, you will only be letting yourself in for trouble when you get involved with someone who has different tastes from you.

And no guy should expect sex just because you do other things!

xxxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:11pm
Based on all of your posts (past and present) he doesn't sound like a great partner for you or anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 12:29am

<<<<<<........What kind of crap is that??....>>>>

That's the kind of man he is, a crappy man who will take what he wants when he wants it without any regards for the other feelings. He's not worth any woman's time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 3:14am

light: "That's the kind of man he is, a crappy man who will take what he wants when he wants it without any regards for the other feelings. He's not worth any woman's time."

Yes, I think you're right. He seemed so decent in the beginning, but I guess they all start out that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 3:18am

snafu: "Based on all of your posts (past and present) he doesn't sound like a great partner for you or anyone."

Yes, I agree with you. Now, he's back after disappearing for about 3+ weeks. Early on, he did tell me one of his dating strategies was after a great date with someone he liked, he will go away for about a month so she can get a taste of all the weirdos and undesirables on the dating website, then he resumes contact. I just don't understand something like this. It isn't something I'd do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 10:16am

"Early on, he did tell me one of his dating strategies was after a great date with someone he liked, he will go away for about a month so she can get a taste of all the weirdos and undesirables on the dating website, then he resumes contact." --- he is a jerk, a mind screw and I wouldn't put it past someone like this to make sure that you DO encounter all weirdos possible so that he starts to look good to you, and then...you'll take him, warts and all. Alot of guys are doing that - he's dangerous and you need to stay away from him. He doesn't want to love you, he wants to possess you in a sick and violent way.

This is what happened to me with a rich doctor down here in Florida. He became morbidly obsessed with me and he paid off a bunch of guys to make sure my dating experiences were horrible. The worst part is that the s.o.b. was married and now, years later he did divorce ... I guess he had a time table in his mind...and he thought that I would keep dating to find someone. I did file for an order of protection from the doctor, but was declined because I didn't meet the criteria in Florida for "credible threat". I was experiencing the stalking, following, surveillance, vandalism, harassment (he hired a bunch of people) but he never actually physically hit me himself or verbally threatened me with the words "I'm gonna kill you" or "I'm gonna hurt you".

So I haven't dated in over 6 years because of this jackass. I didn't want to endanger myself with a violent guy or one that would screw up my mind. Eventually the powers that be down here will see the light, I hope, and put him in jail. It sucks being stalked by a doctor in a small town - he has all the credibility because of his title.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 10:18am
"He seemed so decent in the beginning, but I guess they all start out that way." -- yes, they do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 6:54pm
I vote for don't give him another chance. Move on. He expects anal rimming!?
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