He's Going to Cheat on me TODAY!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
He's Going to Cheat on me TODAY!!!
15
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 9:03am
My fiance and I have been living together for a year now. My mother has planned this big, beautiful wedding for us that's taking place on June 12 of this year.

Well, yesterday, he came from work (he's a teacher) and says, "Hey babe, I have a PTA meeting to attend...tomorrow. It starts at 6:00 pm to 7:30pm." I said, okay, but in the back of my mind, something didn't feel right.

When he has a meeting, he usually tells me a few days in advance. He NEVER tells me the day before. And when he talks to me, especially when he has something important to say, he ALWAYS looks me in the face. But when he informed me about this "meeting" he was looking away from me. Something just felt all wrong about that conversation.

So, he went to work this morning, and I immediately got up and logged onto the computer. I went to his school website and checked out the campus calendar. Sure enough, there is a PTA meeting, but it isn't for another TWO WEEKS!!! But still, I gave him the benifit of the doubt, maybe the calendar was wrong. So I called the campus secretary..."No, there is no PTA meeting today, sorry."

So now I know he lied, and the wedding will be put on hold, if not cancelled altogether.

But do you think I should call him at work, and let him know that I know he lied, or should I sit back, watch, and wait to see what he does with the 4 extra hours after work that he thinks he has secured?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 9:12am
Well? Were your suspicions correct? How did it turn out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:16am
Well, I really don't know what to think about what happened. He came home at his normal time (4:00)

Now I know, you're all going to say, "See, you were overreacting for nothing...you should be ashamed of yourself." And honestly, I am. But I still can't help but wonder, why did he lie to me? And what happened to his plans?

I asked him, in my sweetest voice, "Honey, what happened to your PTA meeting?" He said that it was cancelled at the last minute. Then he went into the room, and didn't really speak to me for the rest of the day.

I'm really confused. It really isn't like him to come home with a bad attitude and take it out on me. He's a good person, dispite his past indiscretions. I just don't understand why he's all of a sudden acting so strange.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 2:05pm
Interesting...I wouldn't let him off the hook just yet. I find it interesting that his 'PTA' meeting was canceled, he maintained the premise of there being a PTA meeting, and he spent his time hiding from you, sulking. Is a bit of spying on his computer time in order? Or am I supposed to encourage you to talk to him about his fears? I'm a bit paranoid about these things having BTDT.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 2:28pm

I think someone else has brought this up, but if you're engaged to be married, you need to be able to TALK to him honestly and openly about this type of stuff!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 4:47pm
I totally disagree. I think its time to stop playing super sleuth detective and actually lay the cards out on the table. I would sit him down and ask him what is going on, that the OP knows that he didn't have a PTA meeting so what is really going on. Not in a mean way but in an adult manner. Maybe he's having second thoughts about getting married and doesn't know how to approach it, who knows, she won't know if she doesn't ask. I think sneaking, sleuthing etc. is all immature and its untrustworthy. If you don't trust your boyfriend enough and feel the need to sneak around and try to find out things on the sly then you shouldn't be with him at all.

Oh by the way, I've been cheated on by my exhusband, being sneaky is no way to live. If the OP loves her fiance and wants to know what is going on, then she should just come out and ask him in a non accusatory way, say that she knows there was no PTA meeting, that he seems distant all of a sudden and she's concerned, why is he all of a sudden lying and acting in this manner is there something going on that he's keeping from her and that she's concerned.

They are going to get married for god's sake. Learn to communicate or the marriage will be doomed.

Pages