He's "hanging out" w/ me & someone else

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
He's "hanging out" w/ me & someone else
3
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 7:43pm
A few weeks ago I met someone who I hit it off with immediatly. We went to dinner that same night & he called me the very next night. We've gone to lunch & we email each other & He's called me several times as well. He asked me out & this past weekend we went to dinner & he told me that he wanted to be honest and that he met someone the same night he met me before he met me & that he's hanging out with her too. She's calling him alot & he thinks she's kind of young, aparently she's 25. He's 37 & I'm 31. We both have design careers and have a lot in common. I was taken back by this, and jokingly told him that he wasn't going to kiss me, because I don't kiss people who are kissing other people and to let me know how that works out for him. After our date we came back to my house & watched a movie & SNL. It was so nice...we cuddled, talked & flirted.

I couldn't help but think of what he told me & feel like I am a bachelorette on the bachelor now. I've never had someone tell me this, so I am wondering how I should handle this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003

Hello i_dsgn!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
I know you must really dig this guy, but can you see yourself with him in the future? If that's the case, then you have to compete with this other woman that he's also hanging out with. You have to make him see why he should pick you and make you exclusive. One thing is don't insinuate that you want him to hang out with you only. Pretend that you don't care about that he's seeing someone. And you will see he will be wondering what's wrong with you and will pursue instead of her. Since he has told you that he's seeing someone else don't make it easy for him to hang out with you. I know it's not easy because you are into him, but if he's a really great guy like you say he is, he will do anything in his power to have you. If he doesn't, then I am sorry to tell you this then he wasn't really into you as much as you were into him. I wish you the best. I will have my fingers crossed for you. Let me know what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Look for someone else to be serious with. You can be friends with him, but don't take him seriously. If he's "into" young chicks now, chances are, you'll have to put up with his being "into" young chicks forever.

And no, don't "compete" with age, you can't, age isn't something you can change. And why would you want to change who you are anyway? If a guy doesn't like or respect you enough to cherish for you without his need to tell you he's into a "young" chicks, what kind of R/S is that? No way. There's more fish in the pond. Move on with your life to someone more deserving and grateful for you and mature.