he;s just not that into me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2007
he;s just not that into me?
1
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 1:55am

A few weeks ago, I was set up with a guy (TJ) who I knew little about. As I said in an earlier post, he is very attractive, intelligent and goes to an elite university. When I met TJ for the first time at a party, he was very nice and friendly. We kissed for a minute at the end of the night and he told me he would take me to dinner later in the week.

When I returned home that night, I received several text messages from TJ, essentially saying that he wished I had stayed later and wanted me there. I figured he had gotten drunk and I responded that I would see him another time. The next morning, TJ apologized via text and called me later that night just to say hi.

Last night, TJ invited me over his dorm room to watch a movie. This was the first time I had ever spent time with TJ one on one. I immediately noticed that TJ was far less outgoing when sober. He seemed slightly quiet and was very laid back. I attempted to start several conversations, but TJ would give direct answers and did not continue them. He seemed perfectly content to watch the movie and would randomly make 1 sentence comments or ask me short questions. He kept yawning and complaining about how much schoolwork he had.

About halfway through the film, TJ put his arm around me and draped a blanket over us. He rubbed my side a bit and held my hand at one point. After the movie ended, he kissed me for a minute. I then had to leave. As he walked me to my car, he kissed me goodbye and said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Surprise, surprise…. TJ never called! Late tonight, I noticed TJ was on AIM so I sent him an instant message to say hi and ask how his day was. His answers consisted of 1 word sentences and he told me that he was very busy with school work (he is busy, he has finals next week). He apologized for “not being very fun to talk to.” I asked if he would like to get dinner later this week and he responded, “potentially, yeah. This week is going to be terrible, but that would be fun.” That was the end of the conversation.

I am so confused!! I thought that putting his arm around me and holding my hand was a sign of interest and affection, but he only kissed me for a minute. He said he would talk to me today, but he did not make any attempt.
Should I be taking a hint? I feel that if he were genuinely interested, he would be acting very differently. Should I just forget about him?
Please advise!!!

-Vanessa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 10:49am
He sounds like a drip. You are pretty and smart and deserve someone who isn't only charming when drunk.