He's On My Mind But He's Not Mine
Find a Conversation
He's On My Mind But He's Not Mine
| Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:46am |
I am in a relationship with an older guy. It has its challenges, but it has gotten much better since the relationship began about three years ago, or a little longer now.
But, about that same time, I started taking a martial arts class. One of the guys there had captured my attention. I don't even remember when. Seems like I always had an interest in him. He used to drop me off after class a lot. I would walk down, then someone would take me home after class. It is a short ride, but we talked and stuff, got to know each other a bit. Obviously, he gets to me even though I am involved. I feel badly about it. The fact that he had, still does sometimes, dropped me off at home after class and that we talked and stuff is not a secret to my SO. He knows most of my classmates. They know we hang out as well.
I have some reason to believe that my training partner could be interested in me. Of course, I don't know whether it's wishful thinking because we all like to be noticed. We are in close contact as part of class, but he touches my back or shoulder after drills and asks if I am OK all of the time (I had a shoulder injury a while back). He noticed my haircut and said it was "cute." On Saturday after class he dropped me off. My school is participating in a competition in Mexico this weekend and I was going but circumstances with new ownership at work have ruined this trip for me. Anyway, when I got out of the car, he said that he wished I could go to Mexico. I am so attached to his attention when I get some, that I would be hurt if he were to start dating someone, which he hasn't at all for the nearly four years that I have been training with him. I would be hurt, and I'm dating someone else!
These people I train with are nice people. I don't know if he's just being nice, or if he would be interested if - I just don't know. He has been a bit distracted all week. He even told one of the other black belts that he has a lot on his mind right now.
I haven't been able to get him off my mind lately. I am not really unhappy with my SO so I feel so badly for the fact that I wonder about this potential interest from my classmate.
I feel like a crazed 16 year old. How do I get him off my mind?
But, about that same time, I started taking a martial arts class. One of the guys there had captured my attention. I don't even remember when. Seems like I always had an interest in him. He used to drop me off after class a lot. I would walk down, then someone would take me home after class. It is a short ride, but we talked and stuff, got to know each other a bit. Obviously, he gets to me even though I am involved. I feel badly about it. The fact that he had, still does sometimes, dropped me off at home after class and that we talked and stuff is not a secret to my SO. He knows most of my classmates. They know we hang out as well.
I have some reason to believe that my training partner could be interested in me. Of course, I don't know whether it's wishful thinking because we all like to be noticed. We are in close contact as part of class, but he touches my back or shoulder after drills and asks if I am OK all of the time (I had a shoulder injury a while back). He noticed my haircut and said it was "cute." On Saturday after class he dropped me off. My school is participating in a competition in Mexico this weekend and I was going but circumstances with new ownership at work have ruined this trip for me. Anyway, when I got out of the car, he said that he wished I could go to Mexico. I am so attached to his attention when I get some, that I would be hurt if he were to start dating someone, which he hasn't at all for the nearly four years that I have been training with him. I would be hurt, and I'm dating someone else!
These people I train with are nice people. I don't know if he's just being nice, or if he would be interested if - I just don't know. He has been a bit distracted all week. He even told one of the other black belts that he has a lot on his mind right now.
I haven't been able to get him off my mind lately. I am not really unhappy with my SO so I feel so badly for the fact that I wonder about this potential interest from my classmate.
I feel like a crazed 16 year old. How do I get him off my mind?

I know exactly how you feel, I'm also in a wonderful relationship but i'm into someone else. i hate feeling like i'm in highschool again. at least you know u know him. the guy i'm into isn't exactly a friend but i don't know what to call him. my crush has been going on for 3 years. long story short, he and i met but never really spoke, just stared a lot and i never said anything and neither did he and we both got into other relationships and it's like a feeling i can't get rid of. i just have this strong feeling that he's interested as much as i am but the fact is we waited too long. he used to be everywhere i was at one point but now that my bf is always with me he's never around and i don't know if that means anything, but i did the same thing when i found out he hoooked up with someone else. it realy hurts when i see him with someone else but then again i'm with someone too. i know what ur going through and it's hard. i've had this problem for so long and everyone tells me that something must be wrong with my current relationship, but there's nothing wrong with it. it's actually perfect. this other guy just has something that i cant get rid of. if u get any good advice, i would love to hear it.
good luck
But if I'm with someone else, I feel like I should help it.
Like you said, maybe one of us waited too long.
I know it's tough.
Good luck to you too.
Lorie