he's still in love with his ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
he's still in love with his ex
1
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 6:04pm
i've been seeing this guy for 6months i consider him to be a close friend not just a lover. i talked to him 4months ago about where this was going and he said he didn't want anything deep or serious, yet he has been the one acting like its a relationship, he even asked me to go away with him on holiday for a week and has got jealous in the past. he is a wonderful guy and to me there seems nobody like him, no-one compares, he treats me with respect etc. however the other day i intiated "the talk" again asking to make us official. Yet he declined saying "i don't need a relationship at the mo, i'm sorry", so i said "but i don't see the difference to whats been happening" and he agreed. Saying "he is ok and we are kool" making sure i was ok. he says he doesn't want to hurt me or loose me as a friend and i know he cares. so we agreed to keep it as it is as he has a lot on his plate with constant work and his dad just becomning seriously ill. However later I asked a question about his ex-girlfriend and first love of 2 1/2yrs and he admitted that he was still in love with her and that it kills him. which i already knew deep down. he has been split with her for over a year now and has had a few sexually incounters but no relationship since or long term sexual buddy. only now i'm not sure what this means really. to hear that even though i knew it hurt quite a lot and now i don't know what to do?? i know she'll always be a part of him and theres no chance of them being together again, but any thoughts on this would be more than welcome please........!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 6:46pm
youthful2004....

Pianoguy thinks the man is "jerking you around!"

You want something he doesn't completely want...even though HE WANTS YOUR EXCLUSIVITY WITH HIM!

The EX-girlfriend and YOU are both "comfort zones" to him. And who knows...maybe he has a 3rd or 4th g/f too!

How about giving him 30 days to decide what he HONESTLY wants? Can you be apart from him for a month? Sometimes...keeping a little 'distance' will often wake a few of us up?

Pianoguy