he's wild about me,, but i'm not sure
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| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 10:58pm |
there is a guy who is head over heels over me and thinks i am the best thing that ever happened to him
sometimes he reminds me of that guy on "Frasier" who has the crush on Roz Doyle
i have become his social life on weekends.
he even asked about the status of our relationship when he interviewed for a job in another state, would i want to to go with him.
my mother met him last weekend and thinks he's wonderful.
my therapist already is talking about what i would need to get ready for marriage
the only problem is is that my heart does not go all aflutter about him
he does not occupy all my thoughts all the time
i don't feel the least bit light headed or when i think about him. i do not want to swoon everytime i see him. in fact, a lot of times, i wish he would wear a different, more stylish shirt.
i started dating him because i did not want to hurt his feelings or make anyone else at work mad at me (we work in the same office and everyone is rooting for our relationship)
despite my slight embarrassment over his choice of clothing--- i do laugh a lot when i am around him and i do like to have my hand held.
i enjoy being kissed, but when we were intimate saturday, i did not go into an orgasmic frenzy. (we did not have full intercourse) and i kept wondering why i didn't
is there somethin wrong with me?
maybe over time the relationship will grow---
but i just don't have all those strong feelings that they talk about in the songs or on Dr. Ruth.

your situation is so much like mine!! he is surely in love, but i am just "not there".
i feel exactly as you feel. i dont swoon over him, my heart doesnt go aflutter, i dont feel lightheaded when with him. i dont think about him all the time.
yet, when with him, we have a good time. we laugh. yes, we have differences, but ultimately we work it out!! (why o why)
people say we make a good pair. and i have been asked many times when we are going to get married.
compatible, yet, i just dont feel it! it's not like i am numb to him, but it's not full blown either. nothing like how it feels when we hear those love songs or read those mushy cards. i have been in love before, and this is not even close.
even i think that maybe it will develop with time.
*shrugs*
i dont know what to do.
Are you going to let your relatives, friends, coworkers push you down a path which is clearly not for you? If letting this guy down gently now is going to be so devastating for him imagine what it is going to be like for him in 6 months or after you are married?
In life, you will eventually end up doing things that aren't at the suggestion of other people. Please let this guy move on so he can find someone who is enamoured with him.
so you're saying I should dump the "jerk"? and do it now,
You're the second person on this web site to say so.
I was thinking of giving it a few more weeks, because he is kind of growing on me ---I enjoy being with him and he makes me laug and he's more likely to change his lifestyle for me instead of me changing mine for him (he said he is thinking of turning down the job offer)
Though he's cute in a "fred Mertz" sort of way, he's not Brad Pitt.
My sister has the most awesome looking boyfriends. she moves in with a new one every other year. Her last one lived in rome -tand he was so romantic looking,,,,, . ---and her current one lives in spain.
Maybe I need to hold out for the awuesome Brad Pitts and not settle for "old reliable" freds.
But if you say I should dump him, I'll tell him today to take a hike
Well, the thing is that you can't force love. If you are fond of him and could see this growing into something more, then wait a few more weeks. If you know that you will never have the spark for him that you want, then let him go. Don't allow yourself to be pressured into loving someone or even staying with someone because THEY think he is right for you. You are the only one that knows your heart.
One thing to do is to not let him turn down that job offer if he feels it is a good thing for him!! Especially if you are having mixed feelings. In fact, you might be able to use that as an "excuse" to end the relationship. Tell him that you care about him but you don't want him giving up a great opportunity or changing his life for you. You know this is a good opportunity for him and you don't want to hold him back.
Besides, it is not only unfair for YOU to be in a relationship with a guy that you are not totally gaga over, but it is unfair to HIM. Doesn't he deserve a woman that is going to be head over heels for him? Especially if he is a nice guy. There is someone out there for everyone (at least I hope so) and you two are probably just not the one for each other and you deserve to find the one instead of settling because it's what your family and friends say you should do.