High School Sweetheart, HELP!
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High School Sweetheart, HELP!
| Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:52am |
Hello everyone. I'm new to this, but think that it’s a great idea to share information, stories and advice with other women. OK, here is my situation and I would love any advice, or insight you can give me. I started dating my current boyfriend 2 years ago, while I was still in high school (I was 17 and he was 20). In those two years we have had an awesome relationship and a ton of fun! In about two weeks I will be starting my first year of college. I will be going to college in the same town where we live, so making a long distance relationship work isn’t an issue. Is it smart to keep the same guy forever, or should I branch out and see if there is anything else out there? There is a part of me that wants to date new people, but come back to him in the end if things don’t work out. I know that is a selfish and unrealistic viewpoint. I’m totally confused, my heart says don’t let go of this great guy and my mind says you need some experience. Any thoughts? Thanks everyone for listening....

Here's the scenario you are fantasizing: You two break up amicably because he understands your need to see the world and experience everything. You go out and date a few guys, maybe even sleep with a few. After you have all your fun, you decide that you want to be in the stable loving relationship you were in. So in comes your true love, who has been patiently waiting for you to see the light and come back to him. The two of you finish school, get married, have a couple of kids and live happily ever after.
Is that it?
Now here's the reality: You will break up with your guy because you believe you're missing out on something better. He will be hurt. You will then date a bunch of losers/ users/ jerks. You will realize that you are being childish and that you had given up a great guy for some fantasy so you will go running back to him. But guess what? He will have realized that you were childish and he will move on and find someone who deserves the great guy he is. You will be really sad and angry with yourself for having given up this man instead of being thankful for what you have.
On the other hand, what if the situation were reversed and he comes to you saying he wants to break up to experience what is out there? Do you think you'd wait, or would you move on and find someone who can appreciate you, not go out looking for something better.
If this guy treats you well and you have a good relationship with him, he's not abusive in any way, then what do you think is out there?
It boils down to enjoying "a comfortable pair of slippers" (your current b/f) or trying on a new pair to see if you like 'em better?
But in order to try the new pair...you'll probably have to relinquish the old one.
Are you SURE you want to do that?
Pianoguy
College in itself is an amazing experience. Make friends and have a great time. But don't just drop your guy because "you think" you may find a better guy out there. College boys only want one thing and one thing only.
If you think that you may want to "test drive" these college boys then do yourself and your high school sweetheart a huge favor and call it off before you go to college, but don't expect him to be there when all your fun is done and over with.
Just don't be surprised to find that when you're ready, he's not waiting for you. You have hurt him and let him go. He now has a right to move on and find love, to find someone that sees all the great qualities he has and doesn't feel the need to find something better.
I just hope you do find what you're looking for.