him not ready

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
him not ready
4
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:00pm
ok here it goes..met this guy great guy...1st date he makes me meet his parents...tells me how he wants us to fall in love take things slow...im the sweetest girl he has ever met in his life....2nd date takes me out to dinner everything goes great....say he doenst want me to be scared away or to back off....i say ok...3rd and 4th date we watch a movie says he wants us to fall in love and build a relationship but take things slow(i have no idea why he has the need to bring this up everytime we hang out or talk on the phone) i never told him my feelings or anything. so then 4 days later he calls me and says how tired he was and i was like ok i take it we arent going to the movies he said no way i cant im exhausted....but i wanted to talk to u about something...i said ok..he said he isnt ready for a relationship and that i am a good girl and thats what i was looking for and i started to open up to him and he knows what kinda girl i am and he wanted to be honest with me and he was lying to himself thinking he was ready for a relationship when he really isnt and he said specifically he can not be in a relationship wiht me right now...i said well why did u tell me all that stuff like on sunday night when we were laying on the couch he said bc he does want to fall in love with me and he wanted to sooo bad but he isnt ready...so i got upset and quiet and he goes u sound mad and i laughed and said how do u want me to react? all happy? i liked u john....and he said i know u did thats why i want to be honest with u now b/c i know u cared for me...i said ok let me go he said well wait i said no I HAVE TO go he said bye and i hung up.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 9:47am

What's the question?

He dated you a few times and really isn't interested in pursuing a relationship. It happens all the time. Sorry you are hurting but you'll find someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:06am
Lesson learned I hope. Next time take it as a big red flag when someone introduces you to his parents on the first date and continually talks about love and the future with you before you even know one another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:50pm
WOW...You just retell my own story. Resemblance is amazing so I don't have to tell my story over again. Well, what happened to my guy is that he was a bipolar. So maybe yours too. He told me he wanted to take sings slow and introduce me to his parens on our second date...It scared me. He was very excited about us. maybe excited too much....and then, one fine day he said exactly the same words as yours did. "He is not ready". I was devastaded at first. Now.....somtimes I forget his name(last time I saw him was an April). He made a contact to me last week and I said I'm dating someone (and I'm not dating anyone now).
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 3:31pm
My John did the same exact thing to me. It's been 2 months since we last were together. I hope it's not the same John.