his behavior
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| Sun, 03-04-2007 - 9:55am |
I've been hanging out with a guy recently, not officially dating, but it was clear we both liked each other. Well last night he and I were hanging out with a few people, drinking, and we had just started to hook up and of course he was saying nice things like he really cares etc. and then a few other people arrived. We decided to join everyone to watch a movie and he proceeded to drink LOTS more and then snuggle up on the floor with one of the girls that had just arrived (she had been giving him looks I noticed). I immediately said "I'm out of here" and he did not seem to care at all. I was furious! I know we're not "together" but that was way out of line in my opinion. His extreme drunkenness is no excuse either. On the other hand, I do believe in second chances and I do like the guy.
I don't know if he'll bother calling to apologize now. For all I know he could have slept with her and has completely forgotten about me. But, if he does call me, and I do decide to pick up, what should I say?
Also, since he's been calling me almost every day, if he doesn't call by tomorrow I'd like to at least send him a message and tell him it was a **** move. Is that bad? It would honestly make me feel better.
Edited 3/4/2007 10:09 am ET by thegirlnextdoor99

This guy has a drinking problem as well as issues with honesty and integrity. This is not a dating prospect if you are looking for a stand-up guy. Please rethink the whole second-chances concept. We give men second chances that make slight faux pas and then apologize profusely, not men who become inebriated and take home other women.
If he calls, ask him how things went the other lady. Then tell him nicely that you need to get off the phone.
Well first of all, you two aren't dating, so, frankly, he can do whatever he wants to do. ***hole or not, he's a free man and he's not bound to you.
But secondly, you should not give this guy another chance. I don't care how much you like him, he showed you exactly what he's made of. And if he liked you so much, he would not have did what he did.
I can't agree more...
if he doesn make an attempt to call just ignore him...don't send him the message that he can do this and actually think he'll be respected enough in the morning to have someone take his call. Hold your head high and walk away...no cheap shot or last remark, he's not even worthy of your thoughts.
Agree with previous posters. Did want to comment on one statement:
"it's more that I listened to what he said and tried to trust him."
Ernie Larson says that the problem is not in trusting people, it's in trusting the wrong people. Naturally, we don't always know if we can trust someone or not at first. But as Oprah says, people will show you who they are right away. Believe it. I think it's better to be trusting than to be suspicious of every man. I know a woman who thinks all men are liars and cheats. Guess what? Those are the only men she ever meets.
So good for you that you are trusting! Just pay attention (which you are).